Friday, August 27, 2021

Blog Post #6

Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries.  Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries?  When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?

19 comments:

  1. Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
    My favorite is that Boundaries don't need to be grand. They just need to be established." I feel this because quite often I bite off more than I can chew. If I just pick one thing--two tops and stick to it, perhaps I can relax and enjoy my life more. I made a boundary at the beginning of the year that at 4 p.m. on school days I would start organizing myself for the next day and tidy up and be out my classroom door at 4:15. I am a work in progress. Overall, I am leaving earlier than last year, but there is still room for improvement. I want to start being deliberate during my time. Focus solely on the designated task at the designated time. I feel like I am living whole-heartedly when I am with those I love and connecting with them. I have a hard time taking breaks when I become determined to finish something by a certain time, even if it is a self-imposed deadline and I feel myself waning.

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  2. I enjoyed hearing about how his son had asked if he was on an airplane and his response was "No, I'm in a hotel." The kid responds and says "You're always in a hotel" and hangs up the phone. That hits home. I don't ever want to be a parent that isn't around for their children. I want to be there every step of the way, watching all of their firsts and successes/achievements. I want to to be at every ball game, dance recital, music concert, etc. I feel like I'm living life whole-heartedly when I have the perfect combination of work/home life. I enjoy being at school and teaching these bright young 3rd graders, but I also enjoy spending time with my family at night.

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  3. Less a line from the video, but more a thought that continued to pop up as I watched: 'Your job listing will be posted before your obituary.' I learned very fast that I would not handle work email on my phone (1 bad parent in my second year of teaching brought a quick end to that). But more and more, it is my policy that you can send an email and I will get to it on the next business day. I am often frowned upon when I have not responded to an email immediately or didn't see an improptu dress up day that was send over the weekend. But this is something that I must stick to and I feel strongly about. If we are to change the expectation, it must at least begin as an all or nothing, or else where do the 'exceptions' end? I feel best about this decision when I remember that I also have a job of raising my own children-- to which I am very committed.

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  4. I connected with his comment at the beginning of the career woman--who works all day, comes home and does all the housework, prepares the meals and finishes the dishes. I finally had to ask for help from my husband and children because I was finding myself to not be a very happy person. I try to leave at 4pm from my teaching job and leave the work at school, so that I can be focused on my family during the evening.

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  5. I liked the part about being a career woman and coming home to do the home "chores". My husband and I have learned how to balance home chores and we have a good system where things get done and we both do the ones we enjoy the most!
    I have taught for 22 years and at different stages of my life I have balanced work/home life differently. I started teaching before I had children so I spent more hours at school than I did at home. When our children were small I brought school work home to do when they went to sleep. Now our children our teenagers and I think I have finally found a better balance. I love making lists and have two lists on my desk. One list is for all the "big" things that need to get done but not necessarily right away. The other sticky note is for things that I need to accomplish that day. Before I leave for the night, I always check to make sure I have accomplished what needs to be done for that day. When I find that I have extra time, I accomplish something off the "big" list. I have learned that prioritizing what has to be done "today" compared to "someday" helps me stay focused and sets a boundary for me so that when I go home, I can be present at home.

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  6. This quote really stuck out to me: 'If we want to live a whole-hearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol in productivity as self worth.' This is so me. I was never brought up to sleep or play, we worked and worked due to a large family and not many acres of land. This was absolutely fine with me: I knew I was loved and never felt I went without anything. I still find it hard to do the above because it is not in my nature and I find it really hard to stop and play or stop and rest - there is always too much to do - and there honestly is. When will I realize that there will always be something that needs done - whether it be at home or at school. Every day I feel like I am never done at school - there is honestly always so much more to do. I arrive early and stay late due to so much to do. I use my time very wisely, but, there are always new ideas to look up or behavior issues that need to be dealt with. I need to tell myself that it will never be done, and it is time to go home and it will all be there tomorrow. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I am doing something with my family - nothing is better!

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  7. I liked the quote "You will have to determine what is driving you to tolerate a life of unbalance." The speaker said it was ego for him, but he had to ask himself, if I am so successful why am I so miserable.
    As for work life balance, I am pretty good at that. During the pandemic, was the worst time for me, because we were getting more and more responsibilities with the same amount of time, and while a lot of my coworkers were killing themselves to do more and spending hours doing it. I had to draw a line. I do what I can at work and if I can't do it I can't do it. I don't take it home. I started leaving all of my work stuff at work during the week, so I wouldn't be tempted to do things at home. I still do an hour or two of work at home on the weekend, but it does not take over my life.

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  8. Paraphrasing my take-awaay: My girls don't care about my title or salary, they want me to be home and present. Something has to give. More time as a family = SO worth it. I need to make conscience choices and slow down... take a step back to see the future. I'm not the only one my choices affect. Define the values I want to protect and list a boundary to help me attain it.

    **I never really thought about work-life "Boundaries". I love that. Last year, I went through a season of burn-out and did a lot on self-care. One of my favorite sayings out of that was Work-Life Juggle - recognizing that 'balance' isn't realistic. BUT, I like the word "boundaries" even more because rather than just giving in to the "juggle"... it helps me prioritize and put in action items I can control!

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  9. Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
    I appreciated that he made taking steps to create work-life boundaries very attainable. Sure, it could be quitting your job, but it could just setting aside Saturday afternoons for your loved ones. The story that really stuck out to me was his 3 year old son telling him he was always at hotels. I can't imagine how devastating that would be. I am in a much better place with work-life boundaries after changing careers and my job. My work was having a huge negative impact on both my mental and physical health and it was evident that a change was necessary. I am very grateful to have much less work stress and exhaustion in my life. I feel like I'm living life whole heartedly when I spend time reading the Bible and in prayer, take good care of my body with healthy food and exercise, and spend time with my husband, family, and friends.

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  10. I appreciated that he called it a journey. I am not sure any of us ever have life completely figured out. As life changes, and we enter into different stages, things change. It is a constant journey, but it is not one in which we have no power. We have the power to choose how we spend our time (much of the time, anyway), and for the most part, it is up to us to create our boundaries.

    I am not great at this, but I continue to get better. I am learning to say "no" without excused. I am learning that busy does not equate to one's worth. Some of the most amazing women I know aren't those who worked themselves ragged, but took time to be mothers, enjoy hobbies, and who stopped to smell the roses.

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  11. Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?

    I laughed a little when at the beginning, Carlos spoke about the roles of men and women. My husband and I have had many, many conversations about this exact thing. Now, as our adult children are newly married and starting families, we are helping them navigate the same types of conversations. I also really liked the quote, “If we want to live a whole-hearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol in productivity as self worth.”
    Currently, I feel I have finally reached a very good work/life balance. I needed to change jobs and have to work daily on maintaining the balance. I feel like I am living life to the fullest when I am present and engaged for my family and taking in each memory and moment to the fullest. Along with being present in my personal life I also need to be fulfilled in my professional life.

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  12. I enjoyed the story of him talking to his son on the phone and him saying “you’re always in a hotel” and hearing his reflection from this. I feel like over the last couple years I’ve created a better work-life balance. I stopped coaching to free up my evenings and weekends and have also started really feeling “ok” with leaving things at school to be done at another time. I don’t ever want to be the parent that continually misses moments because of work. I feel like I whole-heartedly am living life when I’m teaching my 2nd graders and then coming home and being present with my family!

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  13. I identified as the career woman. I am a single mom and only have one child left at home. I work all day, come home, do the house work, prepare meals, do dishes...I have really had to be intentional about letting go of things that my 16 year old can do himself and teaching him about picking up after himself, shared space and his responsibility with that, etc.

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  14. My favorite line was "Letting go of productivity as self worth and validation".

    At the end of the day, I do not want to think of my day as productive or unproductive in terms how how much I accomplished whether in the home or at work. I want to think of my day in terms of how much joy I had, what I enjoyed, and how it impacted my relationships. When he talked about his 3 year old saying "you're always in hotels" I resonated with that because I have two young kids and it is so important for me to be present with them even though I do have a full time job.

    I do think I have a pretty good work life balance - I am able to leave at contract time each day and switch into mom mode. I do not often work in the evenings or on the weekend. I do however let work things take over my mental load and even if I am not actually working at home, my mind still may be there and my "worth" of the day as well.

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  15. A line that really struck me was: "What is driving you to a life of imbalance?" It made me think about what my answer was to that question. Work/life balance has always been tricky for me to figure out. There are just so many tasks that need to be completed in both places. I feel like I've gotten better at balancing things the older I have gotten. His simple list of 4 established boundaries showed that setting boundaries doesn't have to be an elaborate process. It's just about listing your values and setting a few boundaries to protect those values. I most feel like I'm living life whole-heartedly when I am truly present and mindful of the time I am blessed to spend with my family and friends.

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  16. Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?

    I liked when he said boundaries don't have to be grand, they just have to be established. I also liked how he gave the principals to set those boundaries. This is something I struggled with a lot when I first started teaching but have gradually gotten better at it. I decided to not take home work on weeknights and only allow my self a couple hours on the week to work. I set this boundary and now I am able to have time to do things that allow me to life life whole-heartedly. I get to be present when I spend time with friends or family and not stress/ think about everything I need to get done for work.

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  17. “If we want to live a wholehearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as status symbol and productivity has a status symbol.” I am guilty of going through my checklist and saying that I got a lot done today. However, I need to be more intentional about being present with my loved ones and the things that fill my cup and make me happy. I don’t want to be exhausted at the end of the day and have my checklist done, if my family doesn’t feel like I have been present.
    Since I have had children, I do believe that my work-life balance is better. I cherish my evenings with my family, so I try to leave work as soon as possible. Some days I have meetings after school, but I try to give more to my family and more to myself to balance it back out. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I am eating supper with my family. No matter how busy my workday or day at home was, we always come together as a family to eat supper. I cherish those moments because those moments are what I have prayed for before I was even married.

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  18. My favorite quote from this Ted Talk was simply "Your boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." I think I resonated with this line because when people think of how to change their lives, they typically think of doing something drastic, or making these immense changes into their routine or these public proclamations about how they are going to change their lives. It doesn't need to be involved or complicated, it's just a boundary to set that's achievable, and that makes it seem much less daunting.

    I do think I have made great progress in managing my work-life balance. When I first started as a teacher, I was at school until almost 6:00 every single night preparing lessons and completing paperwork. I was also taking work home on the weekends, and going into school on Sundays. Now that I have been teaching for 5 years, I have streamlined a lot of my processes and have gotten much more efficient with my time at school. When I do stay after school, I do not get on my phone, and work until my tasks are complete. I also have a running to-do list on my computer identifying all of the tasks that need to be done that week, and their due dates. That way I prioritize those tasks during my prep time. I have also made it a habit to shut my door during my prep time to keep co-workers from coming in to visit, but making myself available to them at other times throughout the day.

    I feel that I am living my life whole-heartedly when I am able to completely separate work and home. I have not done schoolwork on the weekends since the beginning of the school year, and have stayed later on weekdays to make sure that is the case. To be happy and have my cup filled up, I need to be able to be with the people I love and care about, while putting my career on the back burner of my thoughts during that time. By setting aside intentional time for both things, I have been much more efficient with my school time, and much more engaged and relaxed during my people time.

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  19. Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries.
    The story that stood out to me was when his little boy called and asked if he was in an airplane, and his dad said "no buddy, I'm in a hotel." To which his boy responded, "You're always in a hotel!" I wonder what my own kids would say to end the sentence "Mom, you're always ____________." I have a feeling the answer will make me cry, just like Carlos did.

    Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries?
    I'm struggling with it, and to be honest I'd say I was at the very beginning. I started teaching first grade 8 years ago and spent the first two years not only figuring out how to teach first grade, but also getting my masters. I had 3 young kids at home at the time and it was HARD. It really set me up for some bad work-life habits right from the get-go that I haven't grown out of.

    When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
    I don't know if I am most of the time. It's been a difficult few years personally and professionally and it's really sent me into a tough headspace. Feeling I should be home when I'm working, and feeling like I should be working when I'm home is a crummy cycle to be in. I'm trying to live life whole-heartedly and be completely IN wherever I am.

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