Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries.Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries?When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
I chuckled at the beginning of the video when he is talking about career women still taking care of all at home and kids while men come home and have worked so many hours that they just can't help. That is still relatable in so many relationships I know! I am always the person that will throw work in my bag and then never touch it at home! I try to leave work at 4 to then go be with my family. I try to work hard at work so I don't feel like I need to bring it home with me. Shouldn't we all feel that we are living live whole-heartedly when with family and friends? I love my teaching job most days but my cup fills with quality time with friends and family. Game nights, lake days, weekend getaways, and vacations all bring the relaxed smile.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
I liked the line " know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value" sometimes we get so caught up in work and the business of life that we forget all the little important things. And sadly sometimes the little things are our little children who are begging for attention. I am past that stage of life and now am focused on learning what to do with my husband in our empty nest stage of life. We have had to refocus and retrain ourselves to find common ground and activities to enjoy together. Life is ever changing and every stage is an adjustment to make.
My favorite line is "your boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established". I wish it wouldn't have taken me so long in life to set boundaries. I was a single mom for most of my son's life. I was gone a lot at work. Then I started school and missed more time with him. I knew that it would only be a short time. Then, we would have a better life. As a teacher, I knew that I would have weekends and summers off to spend with him while he grew. If I would not have made that career choice, I would not have had the opportunity to spend his growing up years with him. At the beginning of my career I struggle with boundaries. I was always at the school trying to make things "just right". Since then I have learned that it can always been done tomorrow.
Listening to him talk about "meaningful connections" makes me want to go back to the previous blog post as I talked about prioritizing time for family and friends BUT a few weeks ago we had to choose 3 important items that were MUST HAVEs in our lives, I did not want to take up multiple options with listing family and friends so I used the word connections! I knew this was the important term that I needed from my friends and families- the connections. I want to strengthen them and continue to build them! These are the things I need to prioritize in my life!
I also liked his term "purpose driven" as I think this is what teachers are always looking for when we are questioning changes- we want to know the purpose and intention of these changes.
"Boundaries do not have to be grand, they just need to be established." that is a good line too!
I think I am at the beginning stages of finding MY boundaries. Not the ones that are set for me, but mine. The ones that I need that will make my like one that I can live with purpose and intention! A life that I can be proud of and say that I am proud and one where I truthfully BELIEVE in myself!
I appreciate that he admitted that he was using productivity/prestige as validation of his self-worth, and that he was wrong to think he was truly okay with how things were without work-life boundaries. I am at the beginning stages, I would say, of establishing work-life boundaries. I feel like when I was first teaching, I threw myself entirely into teaching and worked on school at home very often. Now that I have my own child, things need to change; I need to create and stick to some boundaries to keep her the priority of my life. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I'm doing something with my daughter, like playing a board game, hiking, or reading books.
This is a difficult question for me to answer because even though I try my best, I do not think that I'm living life whole heartedly partly because of work life boundaries. I like having my email notifications turned on my phone, but I also let it distract me at home when I should be giving my family my full attention. Also, because I coach I bring things home with me later at night. Going into the seconds semester I need to do a better job of setting boundaries. I like the questions does this need to be done?, does this need to be done by me?, does this need to be done right now? Often times the answer to those questions are no. I feel the best about balance when I leave my stuff at school, put my phone away, and be present with my family.
"If we want to live a whole hearted life we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity of self worth." I really struggle with work-life boundaries. I tend to swing back and forth between too much focus and time spent on work or things I want to do personally. I feel best about my life balance when I am productive during my time at work so I can walk away and focus on my personal priorities in the evening and on weekends.
My favorite line was when he quoted Brene Brown, “If we want to live a whole-hearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol in productivity as self worth.” I am happy with my work-life boundaries. I love to plan, so I set aside 1-2 hours every Sunday and other than that, work stay at work. I like to put my energy into being my best for work when I am at work and being my best at home when I am home. Being fully present wherever I am. I feel like I live a whole-hearted life everyday. I believe our perspectives have the ability to shape the quality of our lives. I feel so much gratitude for that life I have and am always looking for opportunities to gain more wisdom and overcome challenges that arise.
My favorite line was "You will have to determine what is driving you to tolerate a life of unbalance." I thought this saying was very telling for me. Like he said, he was tolerating unbalance to feed his ego. When we determine what is driving our unbalance, it might lead to a realization of whether or not it is worth it. I feel that I am pretty good about work/life balance. I do need to work on being more focused during some of my breaks, especially lunch and using that time effectively. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I am spending time with my family doing something we love.
"Why do you tolerate imbalance in your work-life boundaries?"
-This line really gave me pause because there are times when I tolerate an overflow of work into my personal life, but I had not paused to consider why I allow those seasons sporadically.
When my ego is being stroked by something at work, I will tolerate imbalance to continue to the high-quality work that is generating the feedback and praise that I am craving at the moment.
When home-life is challenging and work seems easier and more orderly, I will tolerate imbalance between the two.
But the times when I'm willing to tolerate this imbalance between work and home life signal larger disfunction and imbalance in my life. The home-work imbalance is just a symptom of the real problem.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. It is the women's responsibility to keep things running smoothly at home. This seems to be very true. Men help out, but if the house is messy and the laundry hasn't been done, it is the women who will be blamed for it. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? I think I do well keeping work at school. When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly? When I enjoy the weekends and not even think about school.
I really liked the line "boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established!" I have really been trying to embody this sentence the last few years. During Covid I would have families and parents messaging me at all hours of the day, nights, and weekends. It really made me feel burnt out so I started by establishing set hours to reply to parent messages. Now, years later, I find myself being more firm with boundaries in all aspects of my life and feeling better/prouder of myself for sticking with them and not being afraid to make them known!
I like his quoting Renee Brown, "If you want to live a wholehearted life we have to be intentional cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as worth." This is so true and at times I struggle with feeling I need to do one more thing or answer that email, and next thing I know it is bed time or past my bedtime and I have lost quality time with my wife. I need to be more intentional on my sleep and play, time outside of school. I feel I am living life whole-heatedly when I hit the pillow and I can just lay there and not toss and turn. I can also tell when my wife let's me know, especially when she thanks me for what I did or the movie. I can tell when I slip when she says I need to spend more time with her. I wish I could be more consistent, I think I need to look at my boundaries and values.
“I had no idea what the future had in store for me, but I knew it would allow me home to have more time with my family.” I heard this line and thought, "Been there!" This was where I was last spring when I was the leaving my classroom for the last time. I didn't have a job lined up, didn't know what I would be doing, if it would be in education or not or anything. But I did know that I had to do something different so I could be present for my children. Living my life today is living more intentionally, more purposefully, and feeling like I am living wholeheartedly is being able to leave school at 3:00, without a sub to cover for me, so that I can go watch my daughter play basketball!
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
"You will have to determine what is driving you to tolerate a life of imbalance." Hidalgo admits that, for him, it was ego. He loved the idea of being a success...having his name on the front of a book cover. I have come a long way in this area, especially in the last year or two. The Lord has used circumstances beyond my control to teach me the value of a life lived in tune with His ultimate purpose for my life and not my personal glory or selfish ambitions. For a long time I think I just worked endless hours because I believed everything was up to me alone to keep things going. Now it's clear that to live a whole-hearted life that aligns with my true purpose and desire to leave a Godly legacy, I must have personal wellness & balance to give my best to others.
My favorite thing he shared was: "If I am so successful, why am I so miserable? What was missing was meaningful relationship and connection." Our ego makes us say yes to things that make us seem important but they don't fill that space of connection within us that we so desperately need. I found that by saying no to things and just staying home and playing with my kids, being outdoors with them, being present... we are all so much happier. And all the things I was saying yes to previously, I don't miss any of it and all of those things are continuing on just fine without me.
I established a work-life balance when my kids were born. I wasn't going to waste time at work when I could be with them. I do work through all my breaks, lunch, planning time. I don't sit around and chat with peers. I am focused the entire time I am at work and it is very exhausting. But at 4 pm, I walk out and work is done. I don't talk about it at home, I don't take work home. Home is home and I am fully present there. This took me years to figure out but now that I have, life is so much more enjoyable.
I thought it was funny that after everything he went through starting his first business, that he then started a second, but I love that he started it with his wife and defined his boundaries. I try to set good bounaries for myself work wise. I leave at my contracted times and don't take work home. While I'm at school I focus on what is more important for my students and am well organized so that I don't have to devote outside time to school. I feel like I'm living most whole-heartedly when I'm with my family and friends and not focusing on all of the things that I should be doing. I think at school I feel that way as well when I'm not leaning into the negativity that can be all around you sometimes.
"The more success that I experienced, the less fulfilled and more narcississtic I became. But why? It's because what was missing in my life at the time was meaningful relationship and connection, which is what we as human beings are fundamentally wired for."
I liked this line because I completely agree that we are fundamentally wired for meaningful relationships and connection. When we aren't living in a way that's aligned with that understanding, it really takes a toll. When I was teaching, I always felt the most drained when work was eating into my family time. When I would stay a little later at school to grade papers or prepare a lesson, I would feel immense guilt for not being with my son during that time. Now that I am staying at home full time with my kids, work-life boundaries are not a concern. I feel I am living life whole-heartedly whenever I fully invest my attention on my kids or husband, with no distractions.
My favorite story that he shared was when his 3-year old son called him on the phone and said “daddy, are you on an airplane?” To which he Carlos responded, “No bud, I’m in a hotel.” “Daddy you’re always in a hotel,” and hung up. And that moment made him realize that he couldn’t keep going the way he was going and his wife agreed. It was also powerful that he was sharing this story over ten years later and the thought to him is still crushing. It ties in with what the author of Fewer Things Better says about time being finite and money being infinite. You can always find a different job or another way to make money. You can’t get back time and moments with your family. As a teacher, I had terrible work-life boundaries, was not making good decisions to set these boundaries, and got out of the teaching profession (this was five years ago). In the past year, I have started a new job that allows me to establish healthier work-life boundaries and to allow my husband to stay home with our newborn (coming in April). So I am looking forward to actually enjoying my life again. I was really feeling rundown when I got out of teaching and it’s taken basically this whole past 5 years to come out of that slump. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I am actually enjoying living in the present with my family and am not being bogged down by societal or work pressures.
My favorite concept was toward the end when he shared that he and his wife stop life for coffee for 20 minutes each morning. That boundary represents a present for them together at the beginning of each day. I liked the concept of beginning and ending the day with quiet family time. Not "let's rush out the door, keep our nose to the grindstone, come home, rush through dinner and keep busy until time to put the kid to bed, RELAX (while trying to keep our eyes open..." (repeat), but an intentional time to relax and keep things laid back before meeting the challenges of the day. He mentioned that these days, when he's at work, he is FULLY at work and is not distracted. But when he's home, it's time to be there (also not being distracted). For me, I've worked hard to set some good boundaries and they are working, but I am always fine-tuning and evaluating. One area that I need to work on is feeling rushed and mentally, checking in and out of work/home at the appropriate times. I don't want to be the mom who, while present, is mentally pushing her child away because she is constantly letting thoughts of "what can I do to make tomorrow easier/less stressful" or "what needs to be done..." take joy from the present moment. In short, I need to be more intentional with my time AND my thoughts.
I think the story of his youngest son Luke asking if he was on an airplane and making the comment, "You're always in a hotel" and hung up is really powerful. The fact that influenced all of Carlos' next life events and impacted how he chose relationships more important that his career success. I also liked when he talked about how he was okay with being unbalanced because he thought his success came from how much he could succeed in his work. As a teacher I struggle with work-life boundaries. I frequently try to get work done while at home and can feel that impact my patience at home. I have tried to set healthier boundaries this year with little things; not replying to parent contacts or emails when I am home at night with my family but that too can be challenging. I feel I am living a whole heartedly life when I spend quality and intentional time with my family at home. I need to work on being more present with my time and making more joyful moments.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
“Daddy, are you on an airplane?” To which he Carlos responded, “No bud, I’m in a hotel.” “Daddy you’re always in a hotel,” and hung up. With no kids, only dogs, I still need to prioritize their exercise and health. Also with my boyfriend being a business owner, we need to do better at stopping our busy lives for just 20 minutes a day to enjoy the presence of one another. I feel I am living life to the fullest when I put work and other day to day problems to the side and live completely in the moment doing things I enjoy with people I enjoy. This can mean a simple walk, a simple car ride around the time. Whatever it may be, clearing my brain in order to be 100% present.
** I forgot to change from anonymous, so reposting.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
“Daddy, are you on an airplane?” To which he Carlos responded, “No bud, I’m in a hotel.” “Daddy you’re always in a hotel,” and hung up. With no kids, only dogs, I still need to prioritize their exercise and health. Also with my boyfriend being a business owner, we need to do better at stopping our busy lives for just 20 minutes a day to enjoy the presence of one another. I feel I am living life to the fullest when I put work and other day to day problems to the side and live completely in the moment doing things I enjoy with people I enjoy. This can mean a simple walk, a simple car ride around the time. Whatever it may be, clearing my brain in order to be 100% present.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly? "If I am so successful, why am I so miserable?" It seems like work can be all consuming, even when I am home, with my family, my mind is still thinking about work. It can really ruin family time. Sometimes setting work-life boundaries is difficult when work can be all consuming. I am looking forward to retirement someday, but for now, I will do my best to keep work and home life seperate.
Taking inspiration from Renee Brown's wise words about prioritizing sleep and play to live a fulfilling life, I've realized how important it is to let go of seeing exhaustion as a badge of honor and productivity as the only measure of self-worth. I often catch myself getting caught up in finishing just one more task or replying to that last email, only to suddenly realize it's bedtime, or even past it, and I've missed out on quality time with my husband and our 2.5-year-old. Being mindful about making time for rest and fun outside of work has become crucial for me. I feel happiest when I can peacefully drift off to sleep without a million thoughts racing through my head. I know I'm doing well when my husband appreciates the moments we share. On the flip side, I notice I need to do better when he hints that we need more family time together. Striving to keep this balance consistent is a goal of mine, and I understand the need to reassess my boundaries and values to make sure I'm living life to the fullest.
My favorite line was to have meaningful time for relationships in which he set aside 20 minutes to have coffee with his wife. I'm usually out the door for work before my husband really gets going, but I do take 5 minutes to talk about the day. What are your plans, etc.? This often helps me keep my focus throughout the day at school. Do I have time to stay a little longer tonight, or do I need to get home and help on the farm? Establishing work boundaries are important and should be re-evaluated often. When my kids were in high school was definitely different that grade school - family values change as they grow up and the needs have to be met at every level. I have one kid left at home now, totally different boundaries for work as well. I felt I have kept my family as my priority and didn't feel like I was slighting them - except for a few meals that they may have had to make along the way :). Not necessarily a bad thing though.
"If we want to live a whole hearted life we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity of self worth." Since having children, I have learned that it is important to have boundaries around my work time and my family time. I try and use my time at school effectively by eliminating distractions when I can. I use my before school time to make sure I have everything ready to go for the day. I use in between classes to respond to quick emails or enter in something quickly to the gradebook. I use my prep to really grade things or get lessons planned out for the next day or week. After school is usually when I might have students come in for help or I use this time to make copies or send things off to the printer. When I leave, I turn the business side of school off. My email is connected to my phone, but I've learned that if someone emails me outside of my "working hours", that the response can usually wait until the next morning. There are of course exceptions to this rule, but I really try to be strict about my work boundaries so that they don't interfere with my family time at home.
My favorite line was when he said " Know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value." Right now I think I have a good work-life boundary in place. I don't take work home or work on the weekends. I do need to be better to balance my time at home to spend more quality time with my family and on my self-care. I admit to spending too much time on social media which makes me feel self-centered and unproductive. I feel like I am live whole-heartedly when I spend quality time with my family and don't stress about little things like house cleaning, laundry and getting groceries. Also when I take time for my own self-care.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
When Carlos Hidalgo was talking about the false perception that exists in our society that housework and children's activities are often "the women's role after work is done" I felt like I was heard! In my household that dynamic exists (my husband does help, it just feels like the bulk of it falls on me). I am the type of person that cannot rest of feel settled unless my house is in order. I feel like I struggle more with that balance than work life balance quite honestly. I am working to schedule into my day small tasks that I can complete to help me feel better that things are taken care of, but to also let some of it go until a pre determined time, rather than stewing and thinking about un-done tasks. I do check my work email on my phone from home quite frequently, and that is something I am trying to let go of. I feel like I am living whole heartedly when I channel my focus into my kids and meaningful activities/interactions, rather than letting my "to-do" list consume me.
"You will have to determine what is driving you to tolerate a life of unbalance." For Carlos Hidalgo, it was his ego that was driving him. This made me pause and wonder if it's the same for me. While I know deep down that there's no reason to spend so many extra hours working on school, I still find myself doing it. Going through this book has been helpful, but this TED talk was a reminder that if we can't identify the root reasons we do something, real change will never happen. I think part of the reason I also try to do "more things" is because I don't have a partner or children that also need my attention. But that still doesn't mean that I need to make my job my single priority.
I connected with the beginning of his talk about being a career woman - feeling like you work all day but it is still my responsibility to keep all the home life stuff working too. I don't know that I have completely moved beyond that thinking, but I am surely working on it. I am trying to set boundaries and set priorities to bring more joy and fulfillment into my life. Without that, it feels like life is just a hamster wheel -- always spinning and moving but never getting anywhere special.
I really connected with his explanation at the beginning of the video about how women are typically just expected to do all the things. I have a very supportive and helpful husband who is a great partner at home, and still I feel like the majority of tasks at home fall on my shoulders. I often comment on how hard it is to find time to be a great teacher, eat healthy, exercise, have a clean house, make healthy meals, go to my kids' activities, spend time with friends and family, etc. It is so hard to keep up! I also related to his story of his son on the phone. The time we have with our kids is so precious and fleeting. My oldest child is 15, and it is crazy how quickly these years have gone. I feel like I have gotten so much better at work/life boundaries from when I first started teaching. Some of that improvement just came out of necessity, but I also just know that I can never get these years with my kids back. I may not be the most amazing teacher I can be right now, but I realize that this is the season of life I am in. I will have more time to devote to my career again once my kids are all gone.
The part that really resonated with me was when Carlos Hidalgo was talking about women and the home responsibilities falling mostly on them. This has always been the situation in my house with my husband. He will "help" with things, but its mostly just that-help. I do the managing of what tasks need to be done, prioritize them, and do them. My husband will help with a few tasks that need to be done, but the majority is on me. This is mostly because he has a terrible work/life balance and will focus a lot of his time at home on work, even during the evenings and weekends. I can't imagine a life where I'm not balancing work, my kids activities, kids school life, errands, household cleaning and organizing, planning family social activities, etc. It all definitely adds a huge layer of stress for me.
I am happy with my work-life balance. As a nurse, my entire career has been "leaving work at work". I couldn't do any aspect of my job at home, it is one thing I loved about working in the hospital. That shifted slightly when I started this job as a school nurse. I have emails that are sent to me, administration contacting me occasionally, and a list of things that I could definitely work at home. None of that comes natural to me since I've spend 15 years not doing work outside of my work place. When I first started this role, I would reply to emails and work on tasks at home. Now though, I prioritize what I do at home and for the most part-it can all wait until tomorrow. My district also has built in teacher work days and early dismissals, that allows me to get caught up on some work that needs attention that I can't give during the school day. My time at home with my family is sacred to me, and that's where I want my energy and focus to be on when I'm there.
This wasn't my "favorite" part, but when he talked about his phone conversation with his son, while he was at a hotel, it really touched me. It is so easy to get wrapped up in what seems important, only to realize that we are missing out on what really does matter. In that case it was his family. This story really hit me. I try to have a good work/life balance, but some days are definitely better than others. The area that I really want to be intentional about is truly being present when I am with my family. If I am having a cup of coffee with my husband, I want to solely be in that moment and not thinking/worrying about anything else. When I am talking with my son, I want to be present in that conversation and focused on what my son needs from me in that moment. I think this simple change can make a difference in connections with those I love. When I really think about it, being present in each of life's moments (simple or significant) is when I truly feel alive.
My favorite takeaway from this video was “boundaries don’t need to be grand, they just need to be established.” I am currently in the stage of establishing work-life boundaries and while it has been challenging to keep these boundaries, it does feel good when I maintain them. I owe it to myself and to my family to live my life whole-heartedly. The burnout I’ve been experiencing and some health problems I’ve had lately are not allowing me to live my life in the way I’d like to. This is especially important to me now that I’m a mom and also as a partner since I don’t want my husband to only get the tired/cranky version of me.
My favorite part was when he said I could choose to invest in my work or I can invest in my spouse and children which that bring me the most joy. We are trying hard to invest in a good balance of work life and home life. I feel like I have had a decent work/home balance for most of my career. I do not take work home. I do not stay past contract hours unless it is non-negotiable. However, I get caught up in the menial tasks of daily living and chores and that reflects in my balance of life. I feel like I'm living my life to the fullest when I am surrounded by my family, unplugged from technology and completely in the moment with them.
I liked several of the quotes in this video, but I the one I am going to choose to focus on is - if I'm so successful why am I so miserable? I think it can be easy for us to have a negative mindset and to constantly be chasing for the next best thing and that can be a scary mentality to be at. Instead choose to focus on the where and now and realize the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I think for me when I'm most happy I'm with my friends and family spending time together, whether it be a game night, having a bon fire together, or on vacation. Just creating memories together and sharing laughs makes me most happy and when I'm my best self.
"Boundaries do not have to be grand, they just need to be established." I try to work very hard during my prep time to be able to leave by 4. I have set boundaries for myself on the weekends. I used to go up to school on Sundays, but now I use that time to be with my family. My girls are so busy with activities that we are usually running around all weekend. I don't feel that pressure to go up to school anymore. I try to not text my co-workers about school after school hours or on the weekends. This just creates extra stress for everyone. We all need a break from thinking about school. I also only bring work home when absolutely necessary. I feel like I am a better mom and wife when I leave my stress of work at work.
"I didn't know what the future held for me, but I knew I needed to be home." This is so true of me today. I will be retiring at the end of the year, so that I can be home more. I wish I had thought to do this 2 decades ago when my son was young, but now I do it for my Mother who is older and husband who will be retiring too. I know that I will still need to set work-life boundaries because I do plan to do sub teaching as needed. I know that by choosing to sub, I could end up being asked too often.
A couple of years ago, I decided to take my email off my phone. I no longer check my email when I'm not at work. In the past I was checking my email while at home and would have parent emails that would send me into a panic or giving me some sort of anxiety. One night I decided enough was enough and took it off. It is quite fabulous. Two years ago I decided I needed to organize my plan time to get the most out of it. Monday is designated to sending parent newsletter and doing miscellaneous tasks. Tuesday through Thursday was designated to planning for the next week. After school was designated for correcting work. By utilizing my plan time, I no longer bring work home unless it simply "cannot wait".
I loved his connection to Brene Brown's quote on living life... "If we want to live a wholehearted life we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self worth."
Especially since having kids, I notice my husband and I talk about exhaustion a lot almost as an excuse sometimes and I would like to change that. Try to make a plan to get quality sleep in as well as play.
We really have made it a priority to not prioritize our work. We simply work to be able to have some money for our house and the life we want. We don't want promotions, status symbol, etc. However, inevitably his job requires him to work over time sometimes and our life becomes out of balance pretty quickly when that happens.
I was very touched that Carlos became so emotional when his son hung the phone up. It's easy to get so hung up when your success is booming, and he had every right to be proud of what he had built. A very tough decision that so many have had to make, and I laughed out loud that his wife brought up the idea to begin another business. We didn't expect to hear that. Carlos went on to relate all of this to Brene Brown and her statement about cultivating sleep, play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol. Again, it's so easy to get caught in that vortex of success. It can be hard to bring down that level of adrenaline. I am doing better at developing boundaries and saying no, I still need to improve. There are very polite ways to say no. If people are so incapable of understanding that one can only do so much than maybe they a reboot. I think that's called attitude. I am living wholeheartedly when I am spending time with my family, when my focus is off the rest of the worlds problems and on them. I am also living wholeheartedly when I am at the barn with my horses. Filthy dirty, sweaty, exhausted and totally at peace. There is never a bad day at the barn.<3
I have three lines that sent chills within me: “Know what your value is and what boundaries you need to create in order to protect that value.” “Your boundaries don’t need to be grand, they just need to be established.” “Why do you tolerate imbalance in your work-life boundaries?”
Oh man…the last one really got me. Why do we?! I feel there’s been a growing stereotype around teachers, that they have to dedicate every moment of their personal life to “bettering themselves as teachers” because they have the summers off of work; and if they don’t do that, then they feel shamed or guilty. Why do we allow that for ourselves? I LOVE this book and that it’s yelling from the rooftops that teachers are human, too, they have breaking points, they have needs, they have families, and they have people in their own personal life who rely on them. So, NO, they should not feel shamed because they’re not planning lessons every day, they should not feel shamed because they take the whole summer to self-care and be present with their loved ones. This applies to any career, not just teaching. If your employment doesn’t value you as a person, leave.
Ok, off that soap box 😊 The first two I mentioned spoke to me because, like I said, teachers are human. They have needs, families, and breaking points. I don’t know if this makes me a bad person, but a boundary I see infiltrating the school systems is that school is becoming quite a bit of a daycare due to lack of parental drive, ambition, and care in the home life. Now, more than ever, we are literally teaching each individual – which is fine! – but not when there’s only 1-2 teachers in the room! Teaching them how to manage their emotion, potty train, follow their individual emotional/behavioral management coping strategy sheet, etc. Like I said, I sound mean and I’m not trying to be. What I’m getting at is that there are more and more things we have to “teach” these kids that one teacher simply can’t do! And it interferes with the actual academic teaching.
I think my 2 favorite quotes from this video were "Incorporate more boundaries in your life and create more opportunities to show up." and "Be home, be present, and be available." I have always struggled with work/life balance, because I want to make sure everything and everyone is taken care of, which usually means blurring those lines and my work time cuts into my home life. Even right this minute, I am subbing in an elementary classroom and I am completing this class work while on my lunch break when I should be relaxing, catching up on personal texts or talking with colleagues. I am always doing 2 things at once and never feel at peace or at ease. I had a horrible work-life balance when I was a classroom teacher and I was only a single woman at that time, and now I fear going back to the classroom with 4 young kids, because I worry I will be constantly drained and burned out. His quote from Brene Brown about "letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol in productivity as self-worth" was quite eye-opening, because it seems we are all competing for who's got more work, who's worked more hours, who's got the hardest students, etc. I want to be better at "defining boundaries and values you want to protect" because your family and your home life needs you more than your job does. The work will always be there, but you shouldn't miss the practices, recitals, and relaxation with yourself and your family. I don't feel like I am living a good balance right now, so I can't say what that looks like yet, but I''m working on it.
The line I liked best was ,your boundaries are based on YOUR values! When I set my boundaries they may not be understandable to anyone else because we do not value things in the same way. I need to what I know is right for me and not spend time worrying about others opinions. I need to make my time more valuable for myself by making it meaningful. I want to really enjoy more sleep and playtime without guilt. I wish I had heard this talk when my children were young, however I full intend to make wonderful memories with my grandchildren.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
The line about prioritizing sleep & play and eliminating exhaustion as a status symbol stuck with me. I am usually... okay... with work/ life boundaries. I don't take a lot of work home with me. However, at this moment in time... exhaustion and stress is totally the state I'm in! Re-certifying and finishing up extra duties, as well as packing up my classroom have me with no perspective at the moment, if I'm being honest. I'll be skipping a family event to finish up extra duties, and I hate that, but it's where I am today.
“The reality is my family did not care about my titles, promotions, they didn’t care about the raises. They simply wanted a husband and father to be home, present and available.” This line really hit home for me, I stepped away from my HS Basketball coaching position at the end of this 23-24 season. I feel like instead of hotels, I was on busses during times that could’ve been spent connecting with my family. In terms of establishing work-life boundaries, I am in the beginning stages of finding my voice and direction. I have been feeling a pull the past couple of years and haven’t been able to pinpoint what the pulling was for but the deeper I get into this book study I think the “pull” that I have been feeling is to live more intentionally and fight for the values I want to protect. At this point in the journey, I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I have my 4 children during the summer and my wife is still working. Our days are spent playing in the yard, going to parks, reading books, coloring, watching movies together and until I am able to set work-life boundaries, summer feels like the only time that I am able to be fully present and not have my mind thinking about something else.
Favorite line or story: I like when he asked "What values do you want to protect and how will that work for you in your life?" I want to spend as much time with my family as possible and that means establishing boundaries with work and other outside commitments. I need to be able to put my family first and decide what will create meaningful memories and relationships for me/us. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries?: I decided quite a few years ago to put my family life first. I try really hard to get my school work done at school during my prep times, especially my lesson plans and copies for the following week. This can be difficult as it requires me to be focused and intentional about my time. I made it a priority to leave the weekends specifically for family. I do bring home papers to grade, cut lamination while we watch a show, and will answer messages from parents, but I try to keep that to a minimum as I've set aside my weekends as non-school time.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Some of my favorite lines were: "I had to slow down...It was me taking the time to listen and making decisions holistically...Lastly, I had to apologize."
"We defined the values we wanted to protect." "Your boundaries don't need to be grand; they just need to be established."
"Dad, I love the guy you are now. I just wish he hadn't taken so long to show up."
Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? I feel like I always do the behind the scene work that doesn't get noticed but helps everything run smoothly. Over the years, I have been better at prioritizing my family, but I still have a ways to go with doing this. I need to ensure that I don't feel or get trapped with doing the behind the scene work by myself as my family is just as important as my coworkers. I think I'm just too empathetic with others wanting to spend time with their family that I need to remember that my family time is just as precious. My family time is my top priority and I need to make it this.
When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly? I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I have time for my family and for myself (self-care).
My favorite line is “Your boundaries don’t need to be grand, they just need to be established.” I feel like my work-life balance is pretty good with the actual manual work side however, I bring home the other “stuff”. I don’t shut off my brain to what I need to do at school or school issues. I also need to do better with answering parents through email and messages during school hours and not feeling the need to answer right away which takes time away from my own family. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I am doing fun things with all my kids.
My favorite line is... "Know what your value is and what boundaries you need to create in order to protect that value." I am at a good place with my boundaries now, I let my parents, families, students, and board members know them at the beginning of the year. This wasn't always so. A few years into being a teacher, my husband told me that I needed to decide what I valued as he and the kids felt I was more loyal to the school I worked at then when they wanted/needed me. He even asked me to work at a different school or stop being a teacher if I could do come home to them. This past year I placed my boundaries behind my classroom door so I was reminded each morning that I walked in what I had decided. This was just for me and no one else new it was there. I placed my work hours along with after school hours I could be contacted outside my classroom and how long it may take to respond. I felt a great pressure off me this year as I would answer phone calls, text messages, and emails no matter the time or day and even if it interrupted our family time. I, also, placed in my car to read that I need to leave school and whatever happened that day there like closing a book before I get home so I can be present with my family. I feel like I am able to be present and can enjoy the time I spend with my family "whole-heartedly" and plan to continue this plan and adjust as my kids grow and my life changes.
This video made me think of an instagram post I watched of a man interviewing a "woman" (himself with a wig on) for the position of stay at home mom. It was funny but it also brough up very good points. When women are "career women" as described in the Ted talk most of these items on the interview requirement list still fall on the mother figure. I am lucky enough to have figured this out early on in marriage and my husband and I established early that we are partnership and things shall be shared. It will never be equal but we can openly and honestly ask for help or ask the other person to take care of a task. It has been so helpful in my marriage but it is still a work in progress in other aspects of my life.
"Boundaries do not have to be grand, they just have to be established." I would say I thought boundaries were some big momentous thing, like a grand proclamation. Clearly, it can just be clearly defining when work is a priority and when life is a priority. I struggle with this because I often bring work home, and I am the kind of guy that when I decide to get it done I get it done at the expense of all else. I hate to be interrupted and I want to focus on what I am doing. I sometimes get irritable when other stuff is going on at home that gets in the way of my work. I often use my prep period at school to recharge, but I really need to work through my prep period and even spend an extra 30 minutes at school to be done with work and transition to being present at home. I sometimes forget that my wife is trying to do all of the work she has from school, and all of the work at home. I should be trying to take some things off her plate so we can just enjoy some downtime together.
The story that hit me hardest was when Carlos Hidalgo told the story about his young son. He talked about how he was always traveling for his job, but never home with his kids. And how his son told him "you're always in hotels, but never at home". I'm lucky to be at a job that will allow me to work part time (mornings and early afternoons) so that I can spend the rest of the day with my baby. However, I know it's going to come with a learning curve. I will not have nearly as much prep time as I had before, so I will need to figure out how to get some work done at home. I feel incredibly blessed to have a husband who is willing to help with housework/meals.
Since I've been an educator for almost 30 years, I feel like I have established a pretty good work/home life, although it took some work! Balancing life with four active kids and trying to be the best teacher I can be hasn't always been easy. I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to take work home with me. I'd either stay late enough to get it all done, or what it could wait until tomorrow. That decision has been the best decision for myself and my family over the years. Now that my kids are older, I have more time to devote to the tasks that I put off for years. As of right now, I feel like I'm living life whole-heartedly.
"Dad. I love the dad you are now. I just wish you hadn't taken so long to show up". That really hit home. Being a single mom of 3 boys , it can be hard to juggle the work/home life. There have been way too many times that I have brought work home with me and have taken away from family time. Or I've stayed late at school trying to get caught up. Again taking away from my family time. Last year, I decided enough was enough. I made a commitment to not stay at work past 4:00 anymore. Because I am a morning person and get up early every day. I go to work an hour earlier and get caught up on everything. It's so peaceful in the building because I'm the only one there and I get so much done. It has given me such a calming feeling. I'm not taking away from my family. They are still sleeping when I leave. I'm not bringing anything home anymore. If it's not done at the end of the day. I leave it for the morning. This one small change has made a huge difference in my well being. I've also decided this year to not answer any parent messages after 4:00. There used to be a time that parents could only get in contact with us by phone at the school. Then seesaw came about and parents are able to message us at any time of day/night. I've made the decision to go back to only work hours for responding to messages. I no longer let it take away from my family and personal time.
I liked when he quoted Brene Brown, "If we want to live a wholehearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth." I find it difficult to maintain a good work-life balance. I tend to work late and am always trying to finish up "one last thing." Then I feel rushed to get home and hurry through the rest of the evening--cooking, cleaning up the kitchen, getting prepared for the next day, squeezing in exercise and other commitments. By the time I have everything finished I am so exhausted I don't have any energy left for things I enjoy doing. This is an area that I need to work on. I feel like this study has given me good ideas of ways to work on improving this balance. The times when I feel like I am actively living wholeheartedly are usually when I am spending time with my family or friends and am focusing on the moment and not thinking about work or other things that need to get done.
The quote that spoke to me the most was, "your boundaries don't have to be grand, they just need to be established". Where am I at in establishing my work-life boundaries? I try to keep my work at work. I stay a little later after work before going to pick up my youngest from daycare, so when we're home we can focus on family. I work best after my students leave at the end of the day, so I use this time to focus my energy on work. At home we have homework, dinner, and then family time. We also have the various sports events, so by not bringing work home, our family is priority. I am also super lucky to work at a school with a 4-day work week. This helps to make sure that my family time is a priority. Right now that it's summer break, I feel that I am my whole-hearted self. I get to decompress and focus on what truly matters- my faith and my family.
I enjoyed this TED talk and Carlos Hidalgo’s message about the importance of establishing work-life boundaries. I especially liked his quote from Brene Brown: “If we want to live a wholehearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth.” I feel like I go through stages with establishing a healthy work-life balance. I try really hard not to bring any grading home with me. I used to bring my work bag home just in case there would be a tiny window of time to do some grading. My husband and I evenly divide our responsibilities (if I’m cooking dinner, he might be giving the younger kids baths, etc.), but with four kids who all have their activities to get to, dinner to be made and served, and a house to be picked up, there is never a tiny window of time to do some grading. Realizing that and simply leaving my work bag at home has taken a big weight off my shoulders. If it’s research paper time, I’ll have no choice but to bring work home, but it helps when I remember that that stressful time is the exception and not the rule. I feel like I am actually living life whole-heartedly when I am truly engaged in what I’m doing both at work and at home, and I can’t feel that way if I’m stressing about those other parts of my life. For instance, if I leave my house with a full sink of dirty dishes, I might not be thinking about those dishes all day, but my energy will plummet when I walk in the door and see them. Likewise, I can’t fully relax and engage with my family if I’m thinking and stressing about the lesson I’ll be teaching tomorrow. I’m feeling most fulfilled when I can enjoy where I am and feel that I am able to invest myself fully in either area without the stress of something else hanging over my head.
The part that stuck out to me the most was at the beginning when he shared the story about his 3-year old son calling him on the phone and saying “daddy, are you on an airplane?” To which he responded, “No bud, I’m in a hotel.” “Daddy you’re always in a hotel,” and hung up. At that moment, it made him realize that he couldn’t keep going the way he was going and his wife agreed. It just made me think about my own life and how I want my kids to feel like I was there for them physically, emotionally, mentally, and every other way. I do not want my girls (or me) thinking, man I wish I could have been there more but instead I was so focused on XYZ. I am the first one to admit that I have a terrible work-life balance, but I would like to think that I am starting to take steps in the right direction. For example, I was really feeling rundown this school year with parent emails (with some not being so kind) and the pressures of the shear size and dynamics of my classroom this year. I was very vocal (in a professional manner) to my principal, school board members, and superintendent about the fact that our school needed to rehire a Junior Kindergarten teacher because there is a difference in the levels and that this year was a struggle in that aspect. I did not sit there just complain in the teachers’ lounge about it, I said what I needed to say to the people that could make the change and then left it at that. I tried not to dwell on that at home or get bogged down with the idea of another year like this again while trying to enjoy mt time with my kids. I also decided this year that I needed to resign as cheer coach because it was taking time from my kids who need me right now. So do I feel like my work-life balance is where I want it to be, heavens no, but I do feel like I am starting to take the steps necessary to build one. I feel like I am living whole-heartedly when I am spending quality time with my family and not stressing about little things like house cleaning, laundry, responding to emails, and things that can just plain wait. Like in the book, time is something we can not get back, so why not live in the moment and enjoy the time with the ones we love because time is not guaranteed.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
My favorite line was "boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." I love this because myself and others I am close with, have a hard time setting boundaries. There are so many things in life that I do that I need to just not do so much, plain and simple. It is easy to get into habit of doing things and hard to break that, but those things are affecting your life and relationships, there needs to be a boundary established, even if it is uncomfortable. I feel that I have gotten better at establishing work-life boundaries, especially from my first year of teaching. During that first year and even my second, I was constantly worried about school, at my classroom working during the summer for a lot of days and just not knowing when to quit. I have learned that yes work and teaching is important, but if I do not set boundaries and also have a life, I will not do my best job at my work. I feel I am living life whole heartedly when I am with family and friends. It doesn't matter where or what, just being with them.
I understood when Mr. Hidalgo commented that he found his worth in how productive and exhausted he was; the same has been true for me at times. Thankfully, I am moving toward a more balanced life, which comes with boundaries. In both my personal and private life, I am intentionally moving away from perfectionism and people-pleasing to a "GE" (good enough) principle. Just today, I had to tell myself that going the extra step in a project would be wonderful in others' eyes (ego-boosting), but that it would take an extra hour away from my family. I chose to leave the project at "good enough".
"Know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value."
The idea that it's up to me, that every thing I agree to, every job I take on, all these things are choices I am making, is empowering for me. Both the author and Mr. Hidalgo have emphasized that idea -- teachers are not / don't have to be victims -- we are in charge of boundaries. Setting boundaries, knowing one's value, those are things that do seem easier now as I'm turning 50 than they did when I was younger. That's the trade-off with aging. Time is valuable and fleeting, and I want to spend my time doing what gives me fulfillment and purpose. It is hard to set boundaries, and I struggle with it all the time, but I am working hard on thinking before volunteering, thinking before saying yes: Is this something that matters to me? Is this something that I feel is necessary? Is this something for now or for a different time in my life?
"Your boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." I think this quote is super important. As a new teacher, it is important to create your boundaries, otherwise you could just work constantly through any boundaries because there is so much to do right away. In the beginning of my teaching career, I thought it was expected that I work most nights and many weekends so that I was prepared and ready to be the best teacher that I could possibly be. As I continued my career, I realized that I was getting completely drained. I was always stressed because I didn't have any time to do the things that I wanted. After talking with quite a few other teachers who said that they do not take any work home with them, I realized that I needed to create and set boundaries so that I was not working all of the time. After creating boundaries and feeling more comfortable with teaching as I enter my 5th year, I feel really good about what I have created. When school is over and I come home, I normally don't work on school very often, unless there is something that needs to be done. I focus on spending time with myself and doing things that I enjoy doing and also spending time with my loved ones. It has been a complete game changer for me and I am grateful to have created boundaries for myself.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? "Know what your value is, and what boundaries do I need to create to protect that value." I think that this is very important and this is something a person learns with age and maturity. It has taken me time to establish my boundaries, but with life experiences I have created those boundaries in the home and in my teaching career. A teacher does not have to become a slave to a job, but create boundaries that I know I can handle. Through trial and error I finally know my boundaries, and since this time I have become more positive and less stressed in my teaching career. These boundaries also have to apply in family life as well. In order for things to work, I believe we need to all row our boats in the same direction. When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly? This is a great questions, that is difficult for me to answer. At the moment I am working on the whole-heartedly bit. Since there are health issues in my home, it is difficult to stay positive. But, I do spend more time with doing things that interest me and make me happy, such as visiting good friends, having a good laugh, and reading a great book.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
When setting boundaries, identify the values you want to protect. Boundaries don't need to be grand - they just need to be established. As I was listening to him speak about how when he's working, he working and when he's pursuing what brings him joy, that's all he's focused on, all I could think was, "How can he not be distracted by work when doing personal things and vice versa?" This might sound a little sexist, but I wonder if it's because he's so good at sticking to his boundaries or if it's because he's not as much of a multi-tasker as a woman would be.
I am trying to establish work-life boundaries better. I leave when my contract time is up and I rarely bring things home. However, I'm always thinking about work while I'm at home. I'd love to know how to turn off those thoughts.
To be honest, I've been so wrapped up in work and my husband and kids' lives, I'm not really sure what my interests are, what brings me joy, or where I'm living life whole-heartedly. Now that they're both grown, it's time for me to re-evaluate my interests and priorities and start pursuing some of my own joy.
I appreciated his line, "Your boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." I like the sentiment that boundaries don't need to be drastic or complicated. One just needs to set a boundary that matters and will have a positive impact in your life, then stick to it. Setting boundaries that can actually be maintained, can be a great way to start. Then, you can add to or change the boundary when needed, but establishing a boundary is essential.
Work-life boundaries look different when being a stay at home Mom, as compared to working outside the home, but there is still a need for boundaries. With raising little children, the boundaries change as the children's needs change, but I am working on discerning some reasonable boundaries I can set that will help me have some time to recharge each day.
I feel I am living life most wholeheartedly when I've had a productive and joy-filled day with my children. When I am not bogged down or critical of myself in regards to what has been accomplished housework wise and am not on a tight time schedule. When I have moments in the day for some personal time, enjoy fun activities with the children (often including baking) and have moments to talk with other adults throughout the day, these are wonderful days.
The story that struck a chord with me the most I think was when he was talking about the business he had started and how its great success caused for him yet again a work-life imbalance. I can relate to his line "If I'm really being honest, what drove me more than anything was my ego", because I think the reason I often spend an inordinate amount of time on schoolwork to the detriment of my family life is that I feel that much of my self-worth is based on my performance as a teacher. I am generally viewed as an effective and well-respected teacher by my students and the community as a whole, but I think knowing this fuels a belief that I need to do more and work even harder to maintain this opinion.
I currently am working towards making a more conscious and concerted effort to establish better work-life boundaries and make family more of a priority. One thing I feel I must do in the upcoming school year is to do away with my current practice of spending time on schoolwork over the weekend so I am available to my wife and kids during that time. As I and my kids are getting older, I am realizing that while my identity as a teacher is important, my role as husband and father is just as important if not more so.
I think living life most whole-heartedly for me would be having a better balance between these roles. In other words, feeling like I am accomplishing my job effectively while still being able to enjoy time with family, hang out with friends, relax by playing music or reading a good book, and take care of my health through exercising. It is my hope that the ideas in this book will help me find that balance.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
I liked the line " know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value". I know my values and what I want to focus on, my issue is with sticking to that value. I am getting better with focusing on those values as I age as it seems as if I am narrowing my focus on what really matters. My issue goes back to the ability to say no (which is better, but not ideal!). I have weeks where I do a phenomenal job of knowing my value and sticking to it, and then it seems as if I go on a little hiatus and loose track. We also own a family business which I feel dictates so much of how and why we do things. It is of the highest importance that we keep this as a focus point as it is our lively hood, but the business definitely defines our hows and whys. I need to be better about embodying this philosophy and putting it at the center of our lives.
My favorite quote from this Ted Talk was actually a Brene Brown quote: "If we want to live a Wholehearted life, we have to become intentional about cultivating sleep and play, and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol" (Brown, 2014). It might be time for me to circle back to some of my Brene Brown studies because I tend to go through cycles where I have to remind myself to establish work-life boundaries. In the past, I have been in districts where I always felt that I had to prove my worth, and I sacrificed much--including my family time and relationships--to feel valued and respected in my profession. A life explosion had to happen to get me back on track and balanced, and I still have regret that I missed out on time with my kids and husband that I won't get back.
Currently, I feel that old habit creeping in where I feel the need to prove myself. The difference this time is that I know I don't have to prove anything. I am in a supportive district with an amazing principal, and I know my worth as a teacher. The work I need to put in is with my instruction and my students. Everything else can wait. I feel I am also getting better at leaving work at work and rarely bringing anything home from the classroom. This helps me to feel like I am living a life wholeheartedly because when I'm home, I can be present with my family and not distracted. It's a learning process.
The quote from the video- "Your boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." resonated with me. Everybodies boundaries might be different and that is okay. Some boundaries might be small or minor, but if they work and accomplish what you need, than that is all you need. I feel I have established pretty good work/life boundaries. At home I don't bring work home. If I do, I save it for after the kids are in bed. There have only been some times, like the beginning of the school year, when I am super overwhelmed and I might have the kids play while I am on my computer trying to accomplish some busy things. When this happens I hate it but in those moments I have to do it. These are rare occasions which is why I would say I do have good boundaries established. Feeling like I am fully there in my home life for my husband and kids and then also at school, feeling successful there and caught up, doing what I need- these things make me feel whole heartedly.
When he shared the story of his son saying "dad you're always in hotels" and noted that he felt crushed, that took me back to a moment in 2002 when I was working full time, and coaching track (track practice and meets took a TON of my time away from my husband and young son. My son who was 1 and a half simply saw me getting ready in the bathroom one day, and what he said broke my heart. "Mommy, no track." It was a day I was going to be home, I was just putting on a little makeup but to him he saw me getting ready to leave. I can empathize by saying I was crushed. That was the last time I ever coached anything. At the time I made it a priority when I had kids, I would not be involved in any coaching. My time with them was far too valuable. As far as work-life boundaries, I am pretty pleased with myself. I do not ever take work home from school. I've learned to manage my time efficiently to get lesson planning and grading done during the 8-4 school week timeframe. Regarding living life whole-heartedly, for me it involves time spent (doing almost anything) with my husband and 3 sons (ages 18, 21, and 23). Time with them is a gift as my older ones are not home nearly as often.
My favorite line is " Know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value." As our children were growing up, I realized how quickly time went and that they were growing up so fast! I didn’t want to miss out, so I set boundaries. I go to work early in the morning. The building is quiet. I get a lot of work done. I listen to Christian that prepares me mentally for the day. I leave shortly after the students are dismissed. Establishing work & life boundaries has allowed me to create a balance between my personal life and my professional life. I am living my best life whole-heartedly when I am playing with my grandkids! It is such a joy to laugh, explore, and create with them. I am completely present and fully engaged because I truly value the time we have together.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
My favorite line was that "boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." After the book talked about finding your legacy, I wasn't sure I would be able to do such lofty things, so Mr. Hidalgo's line made it seem that setting boundaries was simple enough for me to handle.
Oh, the process of work-life boundaries has been a work in progress ever since I started teaching 21 years ago. At first, this was hard since I kept changing grade levels every year and had to start over each year. It was "ok" with me at the time, since I was unmarried and had no kids. Now, I have taught the same grade level for over half of my career and have a husband and kids. The new problem is having at least one "new" thing "thrown" at us each school year that takes extra time and energy to figure out. Last year, it was a new science curriculum and a new learning management system. I had been doing a lot better with my boundaries, but they were thrown to the wind with those two new things, plus a rough class, and a lot of extra paperwork and meetings. I plan for that to change this year as I was at the point of burnout and job searching for the first time last year.
Sadly, I really only feel like I am actually living life whole-heartedly in the summer and on longer school breaks. That is when I can focus on my family and my self-care. This is not enough. I need the weekends to rejuvenate and live whole-heartedly too, as I was able to do prior to last school year. I plan to make this happen by reestablishing firm boundaries.
“Your boundaries don’t need to be grand, they just need to be established.” I have tried to set work-life boundaries, but I am at the point where I need to be more deliberate and focused on maintaining those boundaries. When I am doing school work, I find my mind wandering on things that I need to do at home. If I can stick to those boundaries, I think I will be less stressed and more productive while focusing on the task at hand. I feel like I am living whole-heartedly when I am with my family. Making time for them is a challenge, as we all have busy lives. However, when we are able to get together, we are all able to enjoy our time together and I am able to focus solely on them.
My children are grown and out of the house so my work/home boundaries are better than they were when I had kids at home. If I work later, I’m not missing out on time with my kids. The place I still need to set boundaries is with the time I spend watching TV vs spending time with my spouse. I like the areas that Hidalgo said were important: Time for relationships, mental and physical rejuvenation, cultivating joy and taking care of my health. These seem easier to do in the summer and harder to maintain during the school year. Since my kids are grown, I have a focus back with relationships with friends and more regularly have time to go out with them. I could stand to spend more time on my health.
I think that Hidalgo speaking to the "What drives the choices" was a good take away. There has to be a why behind the imbalance of work and life. He mentioned ego, although I am not sure that is it for a lot of teachers. I think that early in my career it was the duty of being a teacher. Also, the mentality of doing it for the kids.
I feel like I don't take a lot of work home and establish a time 3 days a week that I have to leave my room to go to a workout class. I very rarely skip that time to stay in my room and work. I have found that I am not that productive mentally after school and putting in that extra 15 or 20 minutes of work to miss physical exercise doesn't really pay off. It is harder to turn off the mental and emotional things from the day and really slow down to hear my own kids. I have to work on being present at home and not just running in the evening to get everything completed before I crash into bed.
Achieving a work-life balance is still a goal I have yet to achieve. As the speaker states, I keep "repeating the cycle I [have] vowed to break." He stresses that "you [I] will have to determine what is driving you [me] to tolerate a life of imbalance" and "it starts with a few conscious choices" and "I am far from the only one who is impacted by my choices. That resonates with me. If I had to pinpoint when I think I am actually living life whole-heartedly, it would be the days, weekends, or rare weeks where I leave work at work (no papers to grade, lesson plans are done, copies are made, etc.), but I'll admit this does not happen near enough. I have been an empty nester for three years now, and theoretically I thought it was get much easier to balance work-life, but until I make the conscious choices to make that happen, it won't. Unfortunately, I struggled with that balance when my kids were little. I was present physically, but my mind was often elsewhere (grading papers on a roadtrip, on my home computer doing work, etc.). As far as where am I in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? I know I don't keep my worlds separate yet, so that needs work. I am much better at this balance concept during the summer, but my choices need to carry through the remainder of the year. I am in the process of prioritizing my physical health and making meaningful time for relationships. As the speaker states, "your [my] boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." I really need to put more effort/energy into cultivating things that bring me joy.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
As the speaker states in the video, "I keep repeating the cycle I vowed to break." I feel this to my core. Entering year 7, I feel like I have a good grasp as to what my job entails, so now my goal is to actually find that work life balance that people strive for. I do not think it will happen fast, but will take time, and intentional efforts by me on a daily basis to get there. As stated previously, I am going into this school year valuing my time heavily. I have thought about deleting my email off my phone, contract time, etc. and will have to figure out what works best for me and my family when I am living it because the last thing I want to do by creating boundaries is to create more stress when the goal would be the opposite of that. To be honest, I feel like I am living my life whole-heartedly during the summer months. I do not feel obligated to return anyone's emails (including school personnel who are not respecting my time and the fact that I am not on contract). The way I feel during the summer is what I strive for during the school year.
I enjoyed the part near the end where he talked about what he and his wife are doing now with another company but how he explained that this was not their vision when they had young kids. I think that this is a great reminder of what you need or want now, will be different in 5, 10, or 15 years. My life right now revolves around being needed by elementary school kids during the day and 3 little ones when I come home. I feel like my work/life balance is decent. I am able to be productive at work with the help of goals and to-do list. What does come home with me though it the stress of decision making. I need to find a way to transition from school to home better. That way when I am home, my family has me and my whole mind.
“I am doing this all for my family” justification, I feel like I have fallen into this trap. I have taught and coached for 24 years, just starting my 25th. Coaching I have justified by saying that I get to spend that much more time with my kids and I know how they are treated during that time. But… now I took on a coaching responsibility that does not involve even one of my four kids! I need to set more work- life boundaries, the two are easily mixed especially when my kids are involved in both areas. I don’t want to always be their coach or teacher, I like when I just get to be Mom too,
A line that stuck out to me was: "Your boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." I am at a point in my life where I need to do a much better job of setting boundaries and sticking with those. I have not done well lately and wish I would have read this book a few years ago! I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly but could have done things differently to include others in this journey!
I appreciate Carlos's quote of Brene Brown, "If we want to live a whole-hearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth." Early in our marriage, my husband heard a talk where a man said, "I went to work and when I came home my children were leaving for college." That quote hit a cord for both of us and we were able to make intentional choices so that this would never be true for us. For a few years, I worked part-time for little pay. It was challenging to maintain my self-worth as times, but I'm so thankful for the choices that we have made. I feel that I am living whole-heartedly when I can be present where I am. I have used Angels's strategy of putting things on my list for a certain time so that I can enjoy each moment and not feel the weight of "what I should be doing instead."
The line "know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value" resonated with me as this is something that I have already tried to start doing over the last few years. I'm not always successful at doing this, but some of the biggest changes that I have made for the better in balancing the things that are important to me come from a very similar place. I feel like I have carved out a few non-negotiable times in my week to spend time with family and friends that have made a huge difference. For example, I know that family night every Tuesday will be a chance to eat, talk, and laugh with my family and is a great "whole-hearted" moment that we all look forward to every week.
I liked when he quoted Brene Brown, "If we want to live a wholehearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth." I have always found it difficult to maintain a good work-life balance. I tend to work late and am always trying to finish up "one last thing." I seldom ask for help and feel that if it's going to get done, I have to do it. I stay up late trying to get things checked off my to-do list and wind up being exhaused the next day which causes me to lose focus and energy. I feel like I'm living whole-heartedly when I am able to spend quality time with my granddaughters, family, and friends.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
“What is driving you to tolerate a life of imbalance” really stuck out to me. I feel like pleasing people is what drives me to sometimes say yes to things and do work things when I should be spending time with my family and not working! I need to establish those boundaries of getting my work done in the allocated time and not letting the need to please others cut in to that time. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I do not have to worry or be anxious about getting my work done for school. I do have times throughout the year that are more stressful/busy than others but I will continue to try to get the balance figured out.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
I really resonated with two of Carlos' lines. The idea that he was ascribing to what a working dad and husband should be, and "what is driving you to tolerate a life of imbalance". When we ascribe to other's ideals, we can justify those imbalances. For me, I justify some of my unhealthy work-life balance with the mentality that my students need me to do "xyz", or by saying yes to more things because it will make me better at my job or help cultivate connections. The truth is, this serves only to stretch me thin. In my professional life, I have chosen to not take on additional duties if it doesn't serve me. I also had to come to the realization that my students aren't necessarily going to care if "xyz" isn't completed for the lesson. Most of the time it is a detail only I care about. I have worked on establishing boundaries for how much time I will spend outside of work on school duties and planning. Anything outside that allotted time is reserved for the things that cultivate my health and relationships. I feel like I am living whole-heartedly when I am able to spend time on my hobbies and build my relationship with my husband while also being able to accomplish the daily errands and tasks, but they are not all consuming.
I connected with the beginning of his talk about being a career woman. Working all day and still feeling the responsibility to keep everything running smoothly at home. My husband is very helpful, but I just feel a sense of responsibility to “do it all.” This is something I am working on and I also hired a house cleaner, which has been a game changer for me!
"Meaningful relationship and connection." Even though the school year can be hectic and sometimes the days are long, I've done a good job of making time for family and friends. My wife also has her summer off and it was a blessing for us to be able to see our sons play baseball, no matter the start time. Relationships is why I teach. I love my students and love my wife and kids.
"If you want to live a wholehearted life we have to be intentional cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as worth." I grew up in a hard working family. I watched my dad put in 16-18 hour days. Many of the people I have in my adult life also follow the same schedule. It's good for me to hear that sleep and fun are important too. It's so easy to get into a rut. I'm getting better about setting work/life boundaries when it comes to school, but having trouble not taking on tasks that help others fulfill their work load. I feel best when I can concentrate on my schedule and not fill the gaps for others.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
"If you want to live a wholehearted life we have to be intentional cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as worth."
"Meaningful relationship and connection."
So much of this talk jumped out to me because it is all so true. Since having my oldest son, I knew that I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. I realize just how fast the first 18 years of my life went, and I want to enjoy every possible moment of those with my own children. My work/life balance improved dramatically after having my first baby, and it then improved again after my second baby.
I coach basketball in the winter, so it is important for me to leave school as close to 4 P.M. as possible in the fall and spring to spend time with my kiddos. I used to take work home and then feel guilty for not completing it. Now, I try to be really intentional about using every spare moment at school to get things done. I told my husband that I did not want to bring work home, unless it was absolutely necessary. I am proud to say that I have only had to bring things home one time this year.
I also feel like the past two years (since having my son), I am a better teacher because I am intentional with my own time and my students' time.
This is something that I am still, of course, working on, but I do think there is a better balance than what I originally thought possible.
My favorite line in Carlos Hidalgo’s Ted Talk was his use of the quote by Brené Brown. If we want to live a Wholehearted life, we have to become intentional about cultivating sleep and play, and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth. This quote emphasizes the importance of prioritizing self-care, joy, and genuine connection over work pressure. By cultivating sleep and play, we allow ourselves to recharge and enjoy life, rather than constantly striving for productivity and perfection. Letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol encourages us to recognize that our worth isn’t tied to how busy or productive we are. Instead, it invites us to embrace a more balanced and fulfilling approach to life.
Even though I am closer to the end of my career than the beginning, this is the first time I have focused on establishing boundaries between work and life. I always tried to put my kids first but have missed events in the past due to work or missed out on family things because of school work or events. I really liked the boundaries that Carlos Hidalgo and his wife have established for their lives. I am planning on using them as guidelines for creating my own.
I think living life wholeheartedly often comes down to being fully present in the moment, embracing experiences, and connecting with others. It’s about finding joy in the little things, pursuing passions, and being open to new experiences. I am living life wholeheartedly when I am with my family. When I am with my friends. I know how to have a good time. Weekends are spent working on myself, working on my home, and having some fun. At school I embrace being a teacher, enjoying making a difference and helping students become their best selves.
My favorite story that resonates the most is the fact that he gave up his first job to spend more time with his family but then started a business and was even more busy than the first job he had. I chose that story because of the irony behind it and I think that's what a lot of Americans do who are in the working world. We are so driven for success that we will sacrifice our personal relationships and happiness trying to reach that.
I have significantly improved in establishing work-life boundaries. I gave up coaching two sports in the last year. I don't take work home with me. I spend much more time with my kids and have prioritized them over work. I try to remember to do things for myself as well.
I feel like I'm living life whole-heartedly by spending quality time with my kids and husband. Also by maintaining friendships and connections with my family and friends. Traveling and experiencing new things also makes me feel like I'm living whole-heartedly.
The line I can best relate to is "know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value." I have become very intentional in knowing my most important value as a teacher isn't the content I teach, but the relationships I am forming with students. I also know my most important human value is that as a mother, grandmother, and wife. After teaching 40 years, I have found that balance between school and home. I can be passionate as a teacher and still have the time for family and myself. I think it has taken decades of juggling it all to find a time in life that is purposeful and peaceful. I am living whole-heartedly, but when I am not I can retire whenever I want.
My favorite line was, "You will have to determine what is driving you to tolerate a life of unbalance." I found this saying to be very insightful. It resonated with me when he mentioned that he was tolerating imbalance to feed his ego. By understanding what is causing our own imbalance, we may realize whether it's truly worth it.
I believe I manage my work-life balance pretty well, but I do need to work on being more focused and motivated during my breaks, especially during lunch, to use that time more effectively. I feel most fulfilled when I'm spending time with my family doing activities we enjoy together, while also being free of distractions like my cellphone.
to know your value and know what boundaries need to be put in place to honor that. I try really hard and I feel like I do a good job at focusing on work at work and when I am home I'm home. My current mantra is to "be where your feet are".
"Letting go of exhaustian as a trophy for self-worth". This was so good to hear. I grew up feeling guilty ever sitting down. If I can be honest, I would hear my husband coming down and if I had sat down, even to check things off my list, I'd jump up before he came in for fear that sitting down looked like I had too much time to relax. It's funny because my husband has never once ever given me a hard time of not working hard enough. In fact if anything he pushes me to arrange time to relax.
I am at a good place with work/life balance when it comes to teaching vs. homelife. I don't have it all figured out but I do not bring work home unless there are quizzes to grade. I do that after kids are in bed and husband and I are just watching tv. I can multi-task and it doesn't take time away from anyone else to do so. I still wouldn't say I feel balanced. Maybe just because being a working full time mother is just hard but one thing I'm gaining is realizing it doens't have to stay this way. I can ask for help and not do it all alone.
My favorite line from this talk was that, “Boundaries do not need to be grand. They just need to be established!” This is a powerful statement that helps us take steps towards our goal because it is hard to make a large change all at once. He mentions that the power of distractions creep into your life and before you know it you are painted in a corner or so to speak. He also discusses that it is important to identify the underlying reasons of what drives us to become unbalanced in our lives and may need o ask ourselves why we are so miserable. I agree with Hidalgo completely that we need to slow our lives down and dedicate times to our family and ourself to re-energize. I try to establish boundaries of no phone calls after 4 pm, and no work on Saturday. No work on Sunday, is difficult for me because I like to review my lesson plans for Monday on Sunday evening. When I can put my stuff away and disengage by unplugging from all the things associated with my job, I truly do feel freedom. It is an easy trap to fall into however regarding staying ahead of the game that I feel sometimes I work harder to make it easier which is sort of ironic and not very efficient.
Meaningful connections and purpose-driven are two phrases I latched onto right away. I always try to make connections in my life meaningful. If you are a part of my life, it is because I have purposely chosen you to be. Everything I do has a purpose. Some have a monetary purpose, some have a mental purpose, some have a heartfelt purpose, some have a mindless purpose, but everything has a specific purpose. As do the connections I have made with my family, friends, students, and co-workers. Some connections are deeper than others, but each connection serves a purpose. If I am looking for mindful connections, I know which friends I want to spend time with. If I am looking for heartfelt connections, I know what family and friends I want to spend time with. Depending on what I need, I reach out to those that can help to 'fill my cup.' Sometimes though I don't give myself what I truly need. I need to practice more self-care because I tend to spread myself a little too thin. That leads to mental and physical exhaustion: that's not what I need, ever.
I found it interesting that he talked about how women are typically just expected to do all the things still in this day and age. I often compare what my husband does vs my dad and it’s so different. But we still have a long ways to go. I have a very supportive and helpful husband who is a great partner at home, and still I feel like the majority of tasks at home fall on my shoulders. Even in the way we think when we both have a free weekend afternoon. I see a dirty kitchen and start cleaning and he might decide to watch football. I constantly have a running list in my head about what needs to be done and some men don’t think about those things. I believe I have a good work home balance as I’ve gotten better about not bringing papers home to grade. I’d rather spend my recess and specials breaks to plan and grade than hang out and talk with coworkers. On the flip side- I need to work on making deeper connections with those coworkers.
His point of saying, "Your boundaries do not need to be grand, they just need to be established." I believe work-life boundaries are always being worked on in my life. Especially in the different stages of my 6 kids. It has to take a back burner a lot of the time I am caring for my kids. A boundary I have established with my spouse is to not talk school right before bed. I have to have those conversations sooner. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I am in the moment with the people I love and not distracted by other distractions. I also feel that I can live life whole-heartedly when I am connecting with students that need the connection. It really fills my cup to see home and work life succeed.
I really liked when he said “know what your value is and what boundaries you need to create in order to protect that value”. I am constantly working on my work/life balance. This year I have made a point to leave work at work. I don’t bring papers home anymore or projects to work on. I have 3 young children and they deserve my undivided attention while we are all home. Sometimes I don’t get everything done at school that I wanted to, but I’m working on being ok with that. There will always be a to do list.
I had multiple favorite quotes/lines but I think this one stood out the most...
When he quoted, “If we want to live a whole-hearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol in productivity as self worth.”
I am so guilty of saying no to "play" and proper rest because I am too tired, or too exhausted by my work choices. I have lost numerous days of PTO due to not wanting to miss out on the job, or being afraid that it would look bad if I took the time off. But ultimately I need to understand that balance is what is important and healthy, and that is what is going to keep me going in this profession for years to come. I have to be more intentional about the things that are important to me, like meal planning so we can sit down at the table and eat together every night, or setting up a babysitter for date night because without honest intentions the things that are most important to me have been getting over looked.
I also need to let go of the stigma that if you stay late, and come early that means you are a better teacher. I can better use my time during that day so that I can work within contract hours so that the other time can be used for the people that I love and the things we love doing together.
My favorite story from the talk was when his son called him and said he was always in hotels and how it affected his family. I am still working on establishing my work-life balance. Parents and administrators always have access to me and I typically respond quickly and it puts me into work mode despite being at home or with family. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly right now, during Christmas break, because I have not received emails or calls that put me into work mode and I am allowed to do things I find joy in.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly? My favorite is that Boundaries don't need to be grand. They just need to be established." I feel this because quite often I bite off more than I can chew. If I just pick one thing--two tops and stick to it, perhaps I can relax and enjoy my life more. I made a boundary at the beginning of the year that at 4 p.m. on school days I would start organizing myself for the next day and tidy up and be out my classroom door at 4:15. I am a work in progress. Overall, I am leaving earlier than last year, but there is still room for improvement. I want to start being deliberate during my time. Focus solely on the designated task at the designated time. I feel like I am living whole-heartedly when I am with those I love and connecting with them. I have a hard time taking breaks when I become determined to finish something by a certain time, even if it is a self-imposed deadline and I feel myself waning.
I enjoyed hearing about how his son had asked if he was on an airplane and his response was "No, I'm in a hotel." The kid responds and says "You're always in a hotel" and hangs up the phone. That hits home. I don't ever want to be a parent that isn't around for their children. I want to be there every step of the way, watching all of their firsts and successes/achievements. I want to to be at every ball game, dance recital, music concert, etc. I feel like I'm living life whole-heartedly when I have the perfect combination of work/home life. I enjoy being at school and teaching these bright young 3rd graders, but I also enjoy spending time with my family at night.
Less a line from the video, but more a thought that continued to pop up as I watched: 'Your job listing will be posted before your obituary.' I learned very fast that I would not handle work email on my phone (1 bad parent in my second year of teaching brought a quick end to that). But more and more, it is my policy that you can send an email and I will get to it on the next business day. I am often frowned upon when I have not responded to an email immediately or didn't see an improptu dress up day that was send over the weekend. But this is something that I must stick to and I feel strongly about. If we are to change the expectation, it must at least begin as an all or nothing, or else where do the 'exceptions' end? I feel best about this decision when I remember that I also have a job of raising my own children-- to which I am very committed.
I connected with his comment at the beginning of the career woman--who works all day, comes home and does all the housework, prepares the meals and finishes the dishes. I finally had to ask for help from my husband and children because I was finding myself to not be a very happy person. I try to leave at 4pm from my teaching job and leave the work at school, so that I can be focused on my family during the evening.
I liked the part about being a career woman and coming home to do the home "chores". My husband and I have learned how to balance home chores and we have a good system where things get done and we both do the ones we enjoy the most! I have taught for 22 years and at different stages of my life I have balanced work/home life differently. I started teaching before I had children so I spent more hours at school than I did at home. When our children were small I brought school work home to do when they went to sleep. Now our children our teenagers and I think I have finally found a better balance. I love making lists and have two lists on my desk. One list is for all the "big" things that need to get done but not necessarily right away. The other sticky note is for things that I need to accomplish that day. Before I leave for the night, I always check to make sure I have accomplished what needs to be done for that day. When I find that I have extra time, I accomplish something off the "big" list. I have learned that prioritizing what has to be done "today" compared to "someday" helps me stay focused and sets a boundary for me so that when I go home, I can be present at home.
I chuckled at the beginning of the video when he is talking about career women still taking care of all at home and kids while men come home and have worked so many hours that they just can't help. That is still relatable in so many relationships I know!
ReplyDeleteI am always the person that will throw work in my bag and then never touch it at home! I try to leave work at 4 to then go be with my family. I try to work hard at work so I don't feel like I need to bring it home with me.
Shouldn't we all feel that we are living live whole-heartedly when with family and friends? I love my teaching job most days but my cup fills with quality time with friends and family. Game nights, lake days, weekend getaways, and vacations all bring the relaxed smile.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDeleteI liked the line " know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value" sometimes we get so caught up in work and the business of life that we forget all the little important things. And sadly sometimes the little things are our little children who are begging for attention. I am past that stage of life and now am focused on learning what to do with my husband in our empty nest stage of life. We have had to refocus and retrain ourselves to find common ground and activities to enjoy together. Life is ever changing and every stage is an adjustment to make.
The above was my entry,
DeleteMy favorite line is "your boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established". I wish it wouldn't have taken me so long in life to set boundaries. I was a single mom for most of my son's life. I was gone a lot at work. Then I started school and missed more time with him. I knew that it would only be a short time. Then, we would have a better life. As a teacher, I knew that I would have weekends and summers off to spend with him while he grew. If I would not have made that career choice, I would not have had the opportunity to spend his growing up years with him.
ReplyDeleteAt the beginning of my career I struggle with boundaries. I was always at the school trying to make things "just right". Since then I have learned that it can always been done tomorrow.
Listening to him talk about "meaningful connections" makes me want to go back to the previous blog post as I talked about prioritizing time for family and friends BUT a few weeks ago we had to choose 3 important items that were MUST HAVEs in our lives, I did not want to take up multiple options with listing family and friends so I used the word connections! I knew this was the important term that I needed from my friends and families- the connections. I want to strengthen them and continue to build them! These are the things I need to prioritize in my life!
ReplyDeleteI also liked his term "purpose driven" as I think this is what teachers are always looking for when we are questioning changes- we want to know the purpose and intention of these changes.
"Boundaries do not have to be grand, they just need to be established." that is a good line too!
I think I am at the beginning stages of finding MY boundaries. Not the ones that are set for me, but mine. The ones that I need that will make my like one that I can live with purpose and intention! A life that I can be proud of and say that I am proud and one where I truthfully BELIEVE in myself!
I appreciate that he admitted that he was using productivity/prestige as validation of his self-worth, and that he was wrong to think he was truly okay with how things were without work-life boundaries. I am at the beginning stages, I would say, of establishing work-life boundaries. I feel like when I was first teaching, I threw myself entirely into teaching and worked on school at home very often. Now that I have my own child, things need to change; I need to create and stick to some boundaries to keep her the priority of my life. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I'm doing something with my daughter, like playing a board game, hiking, or reading books.
ReplyDeleteThis is a difficult question for me to answer because even though I try my best, I do not think that I'm living life whole heartedly partly because of work life boundaries. I like having my email notifications turned on my phone, but I also let it distract me at home when I should be giving my family my full attention. Also, because I coach I bring things home with me later at night. Going into the seconds semester I need to do a better job of setting boundaries. I like the questions does this need to be done?, does this need to be done by me?, does this need to be done right now? Often times the answer to those questions are no. I feel the best about balance when I leave my stuff at school, put my phone away, and be present with my family.
ReplyDelete"If we want to live a whole hearted life we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity of self worth." I really struggle with work-life boundaries. I tend to swing back and forth between too much focus and time spent on work or things I want to do personally. I feel best about my life balance when I am productive during my time at work so I can walk away and focus on my personal priorities in the evening and on weekends.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line was when he quoted Brene Brown, “If we want to live a whole-hearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol in productivity as self worth.”
ReplyDeleteI am happy with my work-life boundaries. I love to plan, so I set aside 1-2 hours every Sunday and other than that, work stay at work. I like to put my energy into being my best for work when I am at work and being my best at home when I am home. Being fully present wherever I am. I feel like I live a whole-hearted life everyday. I believe our perspectives have the ability to shape the quality of our lives. I feel so much gratitude for that life I have and am always looking for opportunities to gain more wisdom and overcome challenges that arise.
My favorite line was "You will have to determine what is driving you to tolerate a life of unbalance." I thought this saying was very telling for me. Like he said, he was tolerating unbalance to feed his ego. When we determine what is driving our unbalance, it might lead to a realization of whether or not it is worth it. I feel that I am pretty good about work/life balance. I do need to work on being more focused during some of my breaks, especially lunch and using that time effectively. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I am spending time with my family doing something we love.
ReplyDelete"Why do you tolerate imbalance in your work-life boundaries?"
ReplyDelete-This line really gave me pause because there are times when I tolerate an overflow of work into my personal life, but I had not paused to consider why I allow those seasons sporadically.
When my ego is being stroked by something at work, I will tolerate imbalance to continue to the high-quality work that is generating the feedback and praise that I am craving at the moment.
When home-life is challenging and work seems easier and more orderly, I will tolerate imbalance between the two.
But the times when I'm willing to tolerate this imbalance between work and home life signal larger disfunction and imbalance in my life. The home-work imbalance is just a symptom of the real problem.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. It is the women's responsibility to keep things running smoothly at home. This seems to be very true. Men help out, but if the house is messy and the laundry hasn't been done, it is the women who will be blamed for it.
ReplyDeleteWhere are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? I think I do well keeping work at school.
When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly? When I enjoy the weekends and not even think about school.
I really liked the line "boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established!" I have really been trying to embody this sentence the last few years. During Covid I would have families and parents messaging me at all hours of the day, nights, and weekends. It really made me feel burnt out so I started by establishing set hours to reply to parent messages. Now, years later, I find myself being more firm with boundaries in all aspects of my life and feeling better/prouder of myself for sticking with them and not being afraid to make them known!
ReplyDeleteI like his quoting Renee Brown, "If you want to live a wholehearted life we have to be intentional cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as worth." This is so true and at times I struggle with feeling I need to do one more thing or answer that email, and next thing I know it is bed time or past my bedtime and I have lost quality time with my wife. I need to be more intentional on my sleep and play, time outside of school. I feel I am living life whole-heatedly when I hit the pillow and I can just lay there and not toss and turn. I can also tell when my wife let's me know, especially when she thanks me for what I did or the movie. I can tell when I slip when she says I need to spend more time with her. I wish I could be more consistent, I think I need to look at my boundaries and values.
ReplyDelete“I had no idea what the future had in store for me, but I knew it would allow me home to have more time with my family.”
ReplyDeleteI heard this line and thought, "Been there!" This was where I was last spring when I was the leaving my classroom for the last time. I didn't have a job lined up, didn't know what I would be doing, if it would be in education or not or anything. But I did know that I had to do something different so I could be present for my children. Living my life today is living more intentionally, more purposefully, and feeling like I am living wholeheartedly is being able to leave school at 3:00, without a sub to cover for me, so that I can go watch my daughter play basketball!
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDelete"You will have to determine what is driving you to tolerate a life of imbalance." Hidalgo admits that, for him, it was ego. He loved the idea of being a success...having his name on the front of a book cover. I have come a long way in this area, especially in the last year or two. The
Lord has used circumstances beyond my control to teach me the value of a life lived in tune with His ultimate purpose for my life and not my personal glory or selfish ambitions. For a long time I think I just worked endless hours because I believed everything was up to me alone to keep things going. Now it's clear that to live a whole-hearted life that aligns with my true purpose and desire to leave a Godly legacy, I must have personal wellness & balance to give my best to others.
My favorite thing he shared was: "If I am so successful, why am I so miserable? What was missing was meaningful relationship and connection." Our ego makes us say yes to things that make us seem important but they don't fill that space of connection within us that we so desperately need. I found that by saying no to things and just staying home and playing with my kids, being outdoors with them, being present... we are all so much happier. And all the things I was saying yes to previously, I don't miss any of it and all of those things are continuing on just fine without me.
ReplyDeleteI established a work-life balance when my kids were born. I wasn't going to waste time at work when I could be with them. I do work through all my breaks, lunch, planning time. I don't sit around and chat with peers. I am focused the entire time I am at work and it is very exhausting. But at 4 pm, I walk out and work is done. I don't talk about it at home, I don't take work home. Home is home and I am fully present there. This took me years to figure out but now that I have, life is so much more enjoyable.
I thought it was funny that after everything he went through starting his first business, that he then started a second, but I love that he started it with his wife and defined his boundaries. I try to set good bounaries for myself work wise. I leave at my contracted times and don't take work home. While I'm at school I focus on what is more important for my students and am well organized so that I don't have to devote outside time to school. I feel like I'm living most whole-heartedly when I'm with my family and friends and not focusing on all of the things that I should be doing. I think at school I feel that way as well when I'm not leaning into the negativity that can be all around you sometimes.
ReplyDelete"The more success that I experienced, the less fulfilled and more narcississtic I became. But why? It's because what was missing in my life at the time was meaningful relationship and connection, which is what we as human beings are fundamentally wired for."
ReplyDeleteI liked this line because I completely agree that we are fundamentally wired for meaningful relationships and connection. When we aren't living in a way that's aligned with that understanding, it really takes a toll. When I was teaching, I always felt the most drained when work was eating into my family time. When I would stay a little later at school to grade papers or prepare a lesson, I would feel immense guilt for not being with my son during that time. Now that I am staying at home full time with my kids, work-life boundaries are not a concern. I feel I am living life whole-heartedly whenever I fully invest my attention on my kids or husband, with no distractions.
My favorite story that he shared was when his 3-year old son called him on the phone and said “daddy, are you on an airplane?” To which he Carlos responded, “No bud, I’m in a hotel.” “Daddy you’re always in a hotel,” and hung up. And that moment made him realize that he couldn’t keep going the way he was going and his wife agreed. It was also powerful that he was sharing this story over ten years later and the thought to him is still crushing. It ties in with what the author of Fewer Things Better says about time being finite and money being infinite. You can always find a different job or another way to make money. You can’t get back time and moments with your family. As a teacher, I had terrible work-life boundaries, was not making good decisions to set these boundaries, and got out of the teaching profession (this was five years ago). In the past year, I have started a new job that allows me to establish healthier work-life boundaries and to allow my husband to stay home with our newborn (coming in April). So I am looking forward to actually enjoying my life again. I was really feeling rundown when I got out of teaching and it’s taken basically this whole past 5 years to come out of that slump. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I am actually enjoying living in the present with my family and am not being bogged down by societal or work pressures.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite concept was toward the end when he shared that he and his wife stop life for coffee for 20 minutes each morning. That boundary represents a present for them together at the beginning of each day. I liked the concept of beginning and ending the day with quiet family time. Not "let's rush out the door, keep our nose to the grindstone, come home, rush through dinner and keep busy until time to put the kid to bed, RELAX (while trying to keep our eyes open..." (repeat), but an intentional time to relax and keep things laid back before meeting the challenges of the day. He mentioned that these days, when he's at work, he is FULLY at work and is not distracted. But when he's home, it's time to be there (also not being distracted). For me, I've worked hard to set some good boundaries and they are working, but I am always fine-tuning and evaluating. One area that I need to work on is feeling rushed and mentally, checking in and out of work/home at the appropriate times. I don't want to be the mom who, while present, is mentally pushing her child away because she is constantly letting thoughts of "what can I do to make tomorrow easier/less stressful" or "what needs to be done..." take joy from the present moment. In short, I need to be more intentional with my time AND my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI think the story of his youngest son Luke asking if he was on an airplane and making the comment, "You're always in a hotel" and hung up is really powerful. The fact that influenced all of Carlos' next life events and impacted how he chose relationships more important that his career success. I also liked when he talked about how he was okay with being unbalanced because he thought his success came from how much he could succeed in his work. As a teacher I struggle with work-life boundaries. I frequently try to get work done while at home and can feel that impact my patience at home. I have tried to set healthier boundaries this year with little things; not replying to parent contacts or emails when I am home at night with my family but that too can be challenging. I feel I am living a whole heartedly life when I spend quality and intentional time with my family at home. I need to work on being more present with my time and making more joyful moments.
ReplyDeleteShare your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDelete“Daddy, are you on an airplane?” To which he Carlos responded, “No bud, I’m in a hotel.” “Daddy you’re always in a hotel,” and hung up. With no kids, only dogs, I still need to prioritize their exercise and health. Also with my boyfriend being a business owner, we need to do better at stopping our busy lives for just 20 minutes a day to enjoy the presence of one another. I feel I am living life to the fullest when I put work and other day to day problems to the side and live completely in the moment doing things I enjoy with people I enjoy. This can mean a simple walk, a simple car ride around the time. Whatever it may be, clearing my brain in order to be 100% present.
** I forgot to change from anonymous, so reposting.
ReplyDeleteShare your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
“Daddy, are you on an airplane?” To which he Carlos responded, “No bud, I’m in a hotel.” “Daddy you’re always in a hotel,” and hung up. With no kids, only dogs, I still need to prioritize their exercise and health. Also with my boyfriend being a business owner, we need to do better at stopping our busy lives for just 20 minutes a day to enjoy the presence of one another. I feel I am living life to the fullest when I put work and other day to day problems to the side and live completely in the moment doing things I enjoy with people I enjoy. This can mean a simple walk, a simple car ride around the time. Whatever it may be, clearing my brain in order to be 100% present.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDelete"If I am so successful, why am I so miserable?" It seems like work can be all consuming, even when I am home, with my family, my mind is still thinking about work. It can really ruin family time. Sometimes setting work-life boundaries is difficult when work can be all consuming. I am looking forward to retirement someday, but for now, I will do my best to keep work and home life seperate.
Taking inspiration from Renee Brown's wise words about prioritizing sleep and play to live a fulfilling life, I've realized how important it is to let go of seeing exhaustion as a badge of honor and productivity as the only measure of self-worth. I often catch myself getting caught up in finishing just one more task or replying to that last email, only to suddenly realize it's bedtime, or even past it, and I've missed out on quality time with my husband and our 2.5-year-old. Being mindful about making time for rest and fun outside of work has become crucial for me. I feel happiest when I can peacefully drift off to sleep without a million thoughts racing through my head. I know I'm doing well when my husband appreciates the moments we share. On the flip side, I notice I need to do better when he hints that we need more family time together. Striving to keep this balance consistent is a goal of mine, and I understand the need to reassess my boundaries and values to make sure I'm living life to the fullest.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line was to have meaningful time for relationships in which he set aside 20 minutes to have coffee with his wife. I'm usually out the door for work before my husband really gets going, but I do take 5 minutes to talk about the day. What are your plans, etc.? This often helps me keep my focus throughout the day at school. Do I have time to stay a little longer tonight, or do I need to get home and help on the farm?
ReplyDeleteEstablishing work boundaries are important and should be re-evaluated often. When my kids were in high school was definitely different that grade school - family values change as they grow up and the needs have to be met at every level. I have one kid left at home now, totally different boundaries for work as well. I felt I have kept my family as my priority and didn't feel like I was slighting them - except for a few meals that they may have had to make along the way :). Not necessarily a bad thing though.
"If we want to live a whole hearted life we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity of self worth."
ReplyDeleteSince having children, I have learned that it is important to have boundaries around my work time and my family time. I try and use my time at school effectively by eliminating distractions when I can. I use my before school time to make sure I have everything ready to go for the day. I use in between classes to respond to quick emails or enter in something quickly to the gradebook. I use my prep to really grade things or get lessons planned out for the next day or week. After school is usually when I might have students come in for help or I use this time to make copies or send things off to the printer. When I leave, I turn the business side of school off. My email is connected to my phone, but I've learned that if someone emails me outside of my "working hours", that the response can usually wait until the next morning. There are of course exceptions to this rule, but I really try to be strict about my work boundaries so that they don't interfere with my family time at home.
My favorite line was when he said " Know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value." Right now I think I have a good work-life boundary in place. I don't take work home or work on the weekends. I do need to be better to balance my time at home to spend more quality time with my family and on my self-care. I admit to spending too much time on social media which makes me feel self-centered and unproductive. I feel like I am live whole-heartedly when I spend quality time with my family and don't stress about little things like house cleaning, laundry and getting groceries. Also when I take time for my own self-care.
ReplyDeleteShare your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDeleteWhen Carlos Hidalgo was talking about the false perception that exists in our society that housework and children's activities are often "the women's role after work is done" I felt like I was heard! In my household that dynamic exists (my husband does help, it just feels like the bulk of it falls on me). I am the type of person that cannot rest of feel settled unless my house is in order. I feel like I struggle more with that balance than work life balance quite honestly. I am working to schedule into my day small tasks that I can complete to help me feel better that things are taken care of, but to also let some of it go until a pre determined time, rather than stewing and thinking about un-done tasks. I do check my work email on my phone from home quite frequently, and that is something I am trying to let go of. I feel like I am living whole heartedly when I channel my focus into my kids and meaningful activities/interactions, rather than letting my "to-do" list consume me.
"You will have to determine what is driving you to tolerate a life of unbalance." For Carlos Hidalgo, it was his ego that was driving him. This made me pause and wonder if it's the same for me. While I know deep down that there's no reason to spend so many extra hours working on school, I still find myself doing it. Going through this book has been helpful, but this TED talk was a reminder that if we can't identify the root reasons we do something, real change will never happen. I think part of the reason I also try to do "more things" is because I don't have a partner or children that also need my attention. But that still doesn't mean that I need to make my job my single priority.
ReplyDeleteI connected with the beginning of his talk about being a career woman - feeling like you work all day but it is still my responsibility to keep all the home life stuff working too. I don't know that I have completely moved beyond that thinking, but I am surely working on it. I am trying to set boundaries and set priorities to bring more joy and fulfillment into my life. Without that, it feels like life is just a hamster wheel -- always spinning and moving but never getting anywhere special.
ReplyDeleteI really connected with his explanation at the beginning of the video about how women are typically just expected to do all the things. I have a very supportive and helpful husband who is a great partner at home, and still I feel like the majority of tasks at home fall on my shoulders. I often comment on how hard it is to find time to be a great teacher, eat healthy, exercise, have a clean house, make healthy meals, go to my kids' activities, spend time with friends and family, etc. It is so hard to keep up! I also related to his story of his son on the phone. The time we have with our kids is so precious and fleeting. My oldest child is 15, and it is crazy how quickly these years have gone. I feel like I have gotten so much better at work/life boundaries from when I first started teaching. Some of that improvement just came out of necessity, but I also just know that I can never get these years with my kids back. I may not be the most amazing teacher I can be right now, but I realize that this is the season of life I am in. I will have more time to devote to my career again once my kids are all gone.
ReplyDeleteThe part that really resonated with me was when Carlos Hidalgo was talking about women and the home responsibilities falling mostly on them. This has always been the situation in my house with my husband. He will "help" with things, but its mostly just that-help. I do the managing of what tasks need to be done, prioritize them, and do them. My husband will help with a few tasks that need to be done, but the majority is on me. This is mostly because he has a terrible work/life balance and will focus a lot of his time at home on work, even during the evenings and weekends. I can't imagine a life where I'm not balancing work, my kids activities, kids school life, errands, household cleaning and organizing, planning family social activities, etc. It all definitely adds a huge layer of stress for me.
ReplyDeleteI am happy with my work-life balance. As a nurse, my entire career has been "leaving work at work". I couldn't do any aspect of my job at home, it is one thing I loved about working in the hospital. That shifted slightly when I started this job as a school nurse. I have emails that are sent to me, administration contacting me occasionally, and a list of things that I could definitely work at home. None of that comes natural to me since I've spend 15 years not doing work outside of my work place. When I first started this role, I would reply to emails and work on tasks at home. Now though, I prioritize what I do at home and for the most part-it can all wait until tomorrow. My district also has built in teacher work days and early dismissals, that allows me to get caught up on some work that needs attention that I can't give during the school day. My time at home with my family is sacred to me, and that's where I want my energy and focus to be on when I'm there.
This wasn't my "favorite" part, but when he talked about his phone conversation with his son, while he was at a hotel, it really touched me. It is so easy to get wrapped up in what seems important, only to realize that we are missing out on what really does matter. In that case it was his family.
ReplyDeleteThis story really hit me. I try to have a good work/life balance, but some days are definitely better than others. The area that I really want to be intentional about is truly being present when I am with my family. If I am having a cup of coffee with my husband, I want to solely be in that moment and not thinking/worrying about anything else. When I am talking with my son, I want to be present in that conversation and focused on what my son needs from me in that moment. I think this simple change can make a difference in connections with those I love. When I really think about it, being present in each of life's moments (simple or significant) is when I truly feel alive.
My favorite takeaway from this video was “boundaries don’t need to be grand, they just need to be established.” I am currently in the stage of establishing work-life boundaries and while it has been challenging to keep these boundaries, it does feel good when I maintain them. I owe it to myself and to my family to live my life whole-heartedly. The burnout I’ve been experiencing and some health problems I’ve had lately are not allowing me to live my life in the way I’d like to. This is especially important to me now that I’m a mom and also as a partner since I don’t want my husband to only get the tired/cranky version of me.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part was when he said I could choose to invest in my work or I can invest in my spouse and children which that bring me the most joy. We are trying hard to invest in a good balance of work life and home life. I feel like I have had a decent work/home balance for most of my career. I do not take work home. I do not stay past contract hours unless it is non-negotiable. However, I get caught up in the menial tasks of daily living and chores and that reflects in my balance of life. I feel like I'm living my life to the fullest when I am surrounded by my family, unplugged from technology and completely in the moment with them.
ReplyDeleteI liked several of the quotes in this video, but I the one I am going to choose to focus on is - if I'm so successful why am I so miserable? I think it can be easy for us to have a negative mindset and to constantly be chasing for the next best thing and that can be a scary mentality to be at. Instead choose to focus on the where and now and realize the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I think for me when I'm most happy I'm with my friends and family spending time together, whether it be a game night, having a bon fire together, or on vacation. Just creating memories together and sharing laughs makes me most happy and when I'm my best self.
ReplyDelete"Boundaries do not have to be grand, they just need to be established." I try to work very hard during my prep time to be able to leave by 4. I have set boundaries for myself on the weekends. I used to go up to school on Sundays, but now I use that time to be with my family. My girls are so busy with activities that we are usually running around all weekend. I don't feel that pressure to go up to school anymore. I try to not text my co-workers about school after school hours or on the weekends. This just creates extra stress for everyone. We all need a break from thinking about school. I also only bring work home when absolutely necessary. I feel like I am a better mom and wife when I leave my stress of work at work.
ReplyDelete"I didn't know what the future held for me, but I knew I needed to be home."
ReplyDeleteThis is so true of me today. I will be retiring at the end of the year, so that I can be home more. I wish I had thought to do this 2 decades ago when my son was young, but now I do it for my Mother who is older and husband who will be retiring too.
I know that I will still need to set work-life boundaries because I do plan to do sub teaching as needed. I know that by choosing to sub, I could end up being asked too often.
A couple of years ago, I decided to take my email off my phone. I no longer check my email when I'm not at work. In the past I was checking my email while at home and would have parent emails that would send me into a panic or giving me some sort of anxiety. One night I decided enough was enough and took it off. It is quite fabulous.
ReplyDeleteTwo years ago I decided I needed to organize my plan time to get the most out of it. Monday is designated to sending parent newsletter and doing miscellaneous tasks. Tuesday through Thursday was designated to planning for the next week. After school was designated for correcting work. By utilizing my plan time, I no longer bring work home unless it simply "cannot wait".
I loved his connection to Brene Brown's quote on living life... "If we want to live a wholehearted life we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self worth."
ReplyDeleteEspecially since having kids, I notice my husband and I talk about exhaustion a lot almost as an excuse sometimes and I would like to change that. Try to make a plan to get quality sleep in as well as play.
We really have made it a priority to not prioritize our work. We simply work to be able to have some money for our house and the life we want. We don't want promotions, status symbol, etc. However, inevitably his job requires him to work over time sometimes and our life becomes out of balance pretty quickly when that happens.
I was very touched that Carlos became so emotional when his son hung the phone up. It's easy to get so hung up when your success is booming, and he had every right to be proud of what he had built. A very tough decision that so many have had to make, and I laughed out loud that his wife brought up the idea to begin another business. We didn't expect to hear that. Carlos went on to relate all of this to Brene Brown and her statement about cultivating sleep, play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol. Again, it's so easy to get caught in that vortex of success. It can be hard to bring down that level of adrenaline.
ReplyDeleteI am doing better at developing boundaries and saying no, I still need to improve. There are very polite ways to say no. If people are so incapable of understanding that one can only do so much than maybe they a reboot. I think that's called attitude.
I am living wholeheartedly when I am spending time with my family, when my focus is off the rest of the worlds problems and on them. I am also living wholeheartedly when I am at the barn with my horses. Filthy dirty, sweaty, exhausted and totally at peace. There is never a bad day at the barn.<3
I have three lines that sent chills within me:
ReplyDelete“Know what your value is and what boundaries you need to create in order to protect that value.”
“Your boundaries don’t need to be grand, they just need to be established.”
“Why do you tolerate imbalance in your work-life boundaries?”
Oh man…the last one really got me. Why do we?! I feel there’s been a growing stereotype around teachers, that they have to dedicate every moment of their personal life to “bettering themselves as teachers” because they have the summers off of work; and if they don’t do that, then they feel shamed or guilty. Why do we allow that for ourselves? I LOVE this book and that it’s yelling from the rooftops that teachers are human, too, they have breaking points, they have needs, they have families, and they have people in their own personal life who rely on them. So, NO, they should not feel shamed because they’re not planning lessons every day, they should not feel shamed because they take the whole summer to self-care and be present with their loved ones. This applies to any career, not just teaching. If your employment doesn’t value you as a person, leave.
Ok, off that soap box 😊
The first two I mentioned spoke to me because, like I said, teachers are human. They have needs, families, and breaking points. I don’t know if this makes me a bad person, but a boundary I see infiltrating the school systems is that school is becoming quite a bit of a daycare due to lack of parental drive, ambition, and care in the home life. Now, more than ever, we are literally teaching each individual – which is fine! – but not when there’s only 1-2 teachers in the room! Teaching them how to manage their emotion, potty train, follow their individual emotional/behavioral management coping strategy sheet, etc. Like I said, I sound mean and I’m not trying to be. What I’m getting at is that there are more and more things we have to “teach” these kids that one teacher simply can’t do! And it interferes with the actual academic teaching.
I think my 2 favorite quotes from this video were "Incorporate more boundaries in your life and create more opportunities to show up." and "Be home, be present, and be available."
ReplyDeleteI have always struggled with work/life balance, because I want to make sure everything and everyone is taken care of, which usually means blurring those lines and my work time cuts into my home life. Even right this minute, I am subbing in an elementary classroom and I am completing this class work while on my lunch break when I should be relaxing, catching up on personal texts or talking with colleagues. I am always doing 2 things at once and never feel at peace or at ease.
I had a horrible work-life balance when I was a classroom teacher and I was only a single woman at that time, and now I fear going back to the classroom with 4 young kids, because I worry I will be constantly drained and burned out.
His quote from Brene Brown about "letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol in productivity as self-worth" was quite eye-opening, because it seems we are all competing for who's got more work, who's worked more hours, who's got the hardest students, etc.
I want to be better at "defining boundaries and values you want to protect" because your family and your home life needs you more than your job does. The work will always be there, but you shouldn't miss the practices, recitals, and relaxation with yourself and your family.
I don't feel like I am living a good balance right now, so I can't say what that looks like yet, but I''m working on it.
The line I liked best was ,your boundaries are based on YOUR values!
ReplyDeleteWhen I set my boundaries they may not be understandable to anyone else because we do not value things in the same way. I need to what I know is right for me and not spend time worrying about others opinions. I need to make my time more valuable for myself by making it meaningful. I want to really enjoy more sleep and playtime without guilt. I wish I had heard this talk when my children were young, however I full intend to make wonderful memories with my grandchildren.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDeleteThe line about prioritizing sleep & play and eliminating exhaustion as a status symbol stuck with me. I am usually... okay... with work/ life boundaries. I don't take a lot of work home with me. However, at this moment in time... exhaustion and stress is totally the state I'm in! Re-certifying and finishing up extra duties, as well as packing up my classroom have me with no perspective at the moment, if I'm being honest. I'll be skipping a family event to finish up extra duties, and I hate that, but it's where I am today.
“The reality is my family did not care about my titles, promotions, they didn’t care about the raises. They simply wanted a husband and father to be home, present and available.” This line really hit home for me, I stepped away from my HS Basketball coaching position at the end of this 23-24 season. I feel like instead of hotels, I was on busses during times that could’ve been spent connecting with my family. In terms of establishing work-life boundaries, I am in the beginning stages of finding my voice and direction. I have been feeling a pull the past couple of years and haven’t been able to pinpoint what the pulling was for but the deeper I get into this book study I think the “pull” that I have been feeling is to live more intentionally and fight for the values I want to protect. At this point in the journey, I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I have my 4 children during the summer and my wife is still working. Our days are spent playing in the yard, going to parks, reading books, coloring, watching movies together and until I am able to set work-life boundaries, summer feels like the only time that I am able to be fully present and not have my mind thinking about something else.
ReplyDeleteFavorite line or story: I like when he asked "What values do you want to protect and how will that work for you in your life?" I want to spend as much time with my family as possible and that means establishing boundaries with work and other outside commitments. I need to be able to put my family first and decide what will create meaningful memories and relationships for me/us.
ReplyDeleteWhere are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries?: I decided quite a few years ago to put my family life first. I try really hard to get my school work done at school during my prep times, especially my lesson plans and copies for the following week. This can be difficult as it requires me to be focused and intentional about my time. I made it a priority to leave the weekends specifically for family. I do bring home papers to grade, cut lamination while we watch a show, and will answer messages from parents, but I try to keep that to a minimum as I've set aside my weekends as non-school time.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries.
ReplyDeleteSome of my favorite lines were:
"I had to slow down...It was me taking the time to listen and making decisions holistically...Lastly, I had to apologize."
"We defined the values we wanted to protect." "Your boundaries don't need to be grand; they just need to be established."
"Dad, I love the guy you are now. I just wish he hadn't taken so long to show up."
Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? I feel like I always do the behind the scene work that doesn't get noticed but helps everything run smoothly. Over the years, I have been better at prioritizing my family, but I still have a ways to go with doing this. I need to ensure that I don't feel or get trapped with doing the behind the scene work by myself as my family is just as important as my coworkers. I think I'm just too empathetic with others wanting to spend time with their family that I need to remember that my family time is just as precious. My family time is my top priority and I need to make it this.
When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I have time for my family and for myself (self-care).
Edit: "...my family is just as important as my coworkers' families."
DeleteMy favorite line is “Your boundaries don’t need to be grand, they just need to be established.” I feel like my work-life balance is pretty good with the actual manual work side however, I bring home the other “stuff”. I don’t shut off my brain to what I need to do at school or school issues. I also need to do better with answering parents through email and messages during school hours and not feeling the need to answer right away which takes time away from my own family. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I am doing fun things with all my kids.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line is... "Know what your value is and what boundaries you need to create in order to protect that value." I am at a good place with my boundaries now, I let my parents, families, students, and board members know them at the beginning of the year. This wasn't always so. A few years into being a teacher, my husband told me that I needed to decide what I valued as he and the kids felt I was more loyal to the school I worked at then when they wanted/needed me. He even asked me to work at a different school or stop being a teacher if I could do come home to them. This past year I placed my boundaries behind my classroom door so I was reminded each morning that I walked in what I had decided. This was just for me and no one else new it was there. I placed my work hours along with after school hours I could be contacted outside my classroom and how long it may take to respond. I felt a great pressure off me this year as I would answer phone calls, text messages, and emails no matter the time or day and even if it interrupted our family time. I, also, placed in my car to read that I need to leave school and whatever happened that day there like closing a book before I get home so I can be present with my family. I feel like I am able to be present and can enjoy the time I spend with my family "whole-heartedly" and plan to continue this plan and adjust as my kids grow and my life changes.
ReplyDeleteThis video made me think of an instagram post I watched of a man interviewing a "woman" (himself with a wig on) for the position of stay at home mom. It was funny but it also brough up very good points. When women are "career women" as described in the Ted talk most of these items on the interview requirement list still fall on the mother figure. I am lucky enough to have figured this out early on in marriage and my husband and I established early that we are partnership and things shall be shared. It will never be equal but we can openly and honestly ask for help or ask the other person to take care of a task. It has been so helpful in my marriage but it is still a work in progress in other aspects of my life.
ReplyDelete"Boundaries do not have to be grand, they just have to be established." I would say I thought boundaries were some big momentous thing, like a grand proclamation. Clearly, it can just be clearly defining when work is a priority and when life is a priority. I struggle with this because I often bring work home, and I am the kind of guy that when I decide to get it done I get it done at the expense of all else. I hate to be interrupted and I want to focus on what I am doing. I sometimes get irritable when other stuff is going on at home that gets in the way of my work. I often use my prep period at school to recharge, but I really need to work through my prep period and even spend an extra 30 minutes at school to be done with work and transition to being present at home. I sometimes forget that my wife is trying to do all of the work she has from school, and all of the work at home. I should be trying to take some things off her plate so we can just enjoy some downtime together.
ReplyDeleteThe story that hit me hardest was when Carlos Hidalgo told the story about his young son. He talked about how he was always traveling for his job, but never home with his kids. And how his son told him "you're always in hotels, but never at home". I'm lucky to be at a job that will allow me to work part time (mornings and early afternoons) so that I can spend the rest of the day with my baby. However, I know it's going to come with a learning curve. I will not have nearly as much prep time as I had before, so I will need to figure out how to get some work done at home. I feel incredibly blessed to have a husband who is willing to help with housework/meals.
ReplyDeleteSince I've been an educator for almost 30 years, I feel like I have established a pretty good work/home life, although it took some work! Balancing life with four active kids and trying to be the best teacher I can be hasn't always been easy. I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to take work home with me. I'd either stay late enough to get it all done, or what it could wait until tomorrow. That decision has been the best decision for myself and my family over the years. Now that my kids are older, I have more time to devote to the tasks that I put off for years. As of right now, I feel like I'm living life whole-heartedly.
ReplyDelete"Dad. I love the dad you are now. I just wish you hadn't taken so long to show up". That really hit home. Being a single mom of 3 boys , it can be hard to juggle the work/home life. There have been way too many times that I have brought work home with me and have taken away from family time. Or I've stayed late at school trying to get caught up. Again taking away from my family time. Last year, I decided enough was enough. I made a commitment to not stay at work past 4:00 anymore. Because I am a morning person and get up early every day. I go to work an hour earlier and get caught up on everything. It's so peaceful in the building because I'm the only one there and I get so much done. It has given me such a calming feeling. I'm not taking away from my family. They are still sleeping when I leave. I'm not bringing anything home anymore. If it's not done at the end of the day. I leave it for the morning. This one small change has made a huge difference in my well being. I've also decided this year to not answer any parent messages after 4:00. There used to be a time that parents could only get in contact with us by phone at the school. Then seesaw came about and parents are able to message us at any time of day/night. I've made the decision to go back to only work hours for responding to messages. I no longer let it take away from my family and personal time.
ReplyDeleteI liked when he quoted Brene Brown, "If we want to live a wholehearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth." I find it difficult to maintain a good work-life balance. I tend to work late and am always trying to finish up "one last thing." Then I feel rushed to get home and hurry through the rest of the evening--cooking, cleaning up the kitchen, getting prepared for the next day, squeezing in exercise and other commitments. By the time I have everything finished I am so exhausted I don't have any energy left for things I enjoy doing. This is an area that I need to work on. I feel like this study has given me good ideas of ways to work on improving this balance. The times when I feel like I am actively living wholeheartedly are usually when I am spending time with my family or friends and am focusing on the moment and not thinking about work or other things that need to get done.
ReplyDeleteThe quote that spoke to me the most was, "your boundaries don't have to be grand, they just need to be established". Where am I at in establishing my work-life boundaries? I try to keep my work at work. I stay a little later after work before going to pick up my youngest from daycare, so when we're home we can focus on family. I work best after my students leave at the end of the day, so I use this time to focus my energy on work. At home we have homework, dinner, and then family time. We also have the various sports events, so by not bringing work home, our family is priority. I am also super lucky to work at a school with a 4-day work week. This helps to make sure that my family time is a priority. Right now that it's summer break, I feel that I am my whole-hearted self. I get to decompress and focus on what truly matters- my faith and my family.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this TED talk and Carlos Hidalgo’s message about the importance of establishing work-life boundaries. I especially liked his quote from Brene Brown: “If we want to live a wholehearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth.”
ReplyDeleteI feel like I go through stages with establishing a healthy work-life balance. I try really hard not to bring any grading home with me. I used to bring my work bag home just in case there would be a tiny window of time to do some grading. My husband and I evenly divide our responsibilities (if I’m cooking dinner, he might be giving the younger kids baths, etc.), but with four kids who all have their activities to get to, dinner to be made and served, and a house to be picked up, there is never a tiny window of time to do some grading. Realizing that and simply leaving my work bag at home has taken a big weight off my shoulders. If it’s research paper time, I’ll have no choice but to bring work home, but it helps when I remember that that stressful time is the exception and not the rule. I feel like I am actually living life whole-heartedly when I am truly engaged in what I’m doing both at work and at home, and I can’t feel that way if I’m stressing about those other parts of my life. For instance, if I leave my house with a full sink of dirty dishes, I might not be thinking about those dishes all day, but my energy will plummet when I walk in the door and see them. Likewise, I can’t fully relax and engage with my family if I’m thinking and stressing about the lesson I’ll be teaching tomorrow. I’m feeling most fulfilled when I can enjoy where I am and feel that I am able to invest myself fully in either area without the stress of something else hanging over my head.
The part that stuck out to me the most was at the beginning when he shared the story about his 3-year old son calling him on the phone and saying “daddy, are you on an airplane?” To which he responded, “No bud, I’m in a hotel.” “Daddy you’re always in a hotel,” and hung up. At that moment, it made him realize that he couldn’t keep going the way he was going and his wife agreed. It just made me think about my own life and how I want my kids to feel like I was there for them physically, emotionally, mentally, and every other way. I do not want my girls (or me) thinking, man I wish I could have been there more but instead I was so focused on XYZ.
ReplyDeleteI am the first one to admit that I have a terrible work-life balance, but I would like to think that I am starting to take steps in the right direction. For example, I was really feeling rundown this school year with parent emails (with some not being so kind) and the pressures of the shear size and dynamics of my classroom this year. I was very vocal (in a professional manner) to my principal, school board members, and superintendent about the fact that our school needed to rehire a Junior Kindergarten teacher because there is a difference in the levels and that this year was a struggle in that aspect. I did not sit there just complain in the teachers’ lounge about it, I said what I needed to say to the people that could make the change and then left it at that. I tried not to dwell on that at home or get bogged down with the idea of another year like this again while trying to enjoy mt time with my kids. I also decided this year that I needed to resign as cheer coach because it was taking time from my kids who need me right now. So do I feel like my work-life balance is where I want it to be, heavens no, but I do feel like I am starting to take the steps necessary to build one.
I feel like I am living whole-heartedly when I am spending quality time with my family and not stressing about little things like house cleaning, laundry, responding to emails, and things that can just plain wait. Like in the book, time is something we can not get back, so why not live in the moment and enjoy the time with the ones we love because time is not guaranteed.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line was "boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." I love this because myself and others I am close with, have a hard time setting boundaries. There are so many things in life that I do that I need to just not do so much, plain and simple. It is easy to get into habit of doing things and hard to break that, but those things are affecting your life and relationships, there needs to be a boundary established, even if it is uncomfortable. I feel that I have gotten better at establishing work-life boundaries, especially from my first year of teaching. During that first year and even my second, I was constantly worried about school, at my classroom working during the summer for a lot of days and just not knowing when to quit. I have learned that yes work and teaching is important, but if I do not set boundaries and also have a life, I will not do my best job at my work. I feel I am living life whole heartedly when I am with family and friends. It doesn't matter where or what, just being with them.
I understood when Mr. Hidalgo commented that he found his worth in how productive and exhausted he was; the same has been true for me at times. Thankfully, I am moving toward a more balanced life, which comes with boundaries. In both my personal and private life, I am intentionally moving away from perfectionism and people-pleasing to a "GE" (good enough) principle. Just today, I had to tell myself that going the extra step in a project would be wonderful in others' eyes (ego-boosting), but that it would take an extra hour away from my family. I chose to leave the project at "good enough".
ReplyDelete"Know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value."
ReplyDeleteThe idea that it's up to me, that every thing I agree to, every job I take on, all these things are choices I am making, is empowering for me. Both the author and Mr. Hidalgo have emphasized that idea -- teachers are not / don't have to be victims -- we are in charge of boundaries. Setting boundaries, knowing one's value, those are things that do seem easier now as I'm turning 50 than they did when I was younger. That's the trade-off with aging. Time is valuable and fleeting, and I want to spend my time doing what gives me fulfillment and purpose. It is hard to set boundaries, and I struggle with it all the time, but I am working hard on thinking before volunteering, thinking before saying yes: Is this something that matters to me? Is this something that I feel is necessary? Is this something for now or for a different time in my life?
"Your boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established."
ReplyDeleteI think this quote is super important. As a new teacher, it is important to create your boundaries, otherwise you could just work constantly through any boundaries because there is so much to do right away. In the beginning of my teaching career, I thought it was expected that I work most nights and many weekends so that I was prepared and ready to be the best teacher that I could possibly be. As I continued my career, I realized that I was getting completely drained. I was always stressed because I didn't have any time to do the things that I wanted. After talking with quite a few other teachers who said that they do not take any work home with them, I realized that I needed to create and set boundaries so that I was not working all of the time. After creating boundaries and feeling more comfortable with teaching as I enter my 5th year, I feel really good about what I have created. When school is over and I come home, I normally don't work on school very often, unless there is something that needs to be done. I focus on spending time with myself and doing things that I enjoy doing and also spending time with my loved ones. It has been a complete game changer for me and I am grateful to have created boundaries for myself.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries.
ReplyDeleteWhere are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries?
"Know what your value is, and what boundaries do I need to create to protect that value." I think that this is very important and this is something a person learns with age and maturity. It has taken me time to establish my boundaries, but with life experiences I have created those boundaries in the home and in my teaching career. A teacher does not have to become a slave to a job, but create boundaries that I know I can handle. Through trial and error I finally know my boundaries, and since this time I have become more positive and less stressed in my teaching career. These boundaries also have to apply in family life as well. In order for things to work, I believe we need to all row our boats in the same direction.
When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
This is a great questions, that is difficult for me to answer. At the moment I am working on the whole-heartedly bit. Since there are health issues in my home, it is difficult to stay positive. But, I do spend more time with doing things that interest me and make me happy, such as visiting good friends, having a good laugh, and reading a great book.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDeleteWhen setting boundaries, identify the values you want to protect. Boundaries don't need to be grand - they just need to be established.
As I was listening to him speak about how when he's working, he working and when he's pursuing what brings him joy, that's all he's focused on, all I could think was, "How can he not be distracted by work when doing personal things and vice versa?" This might sound a little sexist, but I wonder if it's because he's so good at sticking to his boundaries or if it's because he's not as much of a multi-tasker as a woman would be.
I am trying to establish work-life boundaries better. I leave when my contract time is up and I rarely bring things home. However, I'm always thinking about work while I'm at home. I'd love to know how to turn off those thoughts.
To be honest, I've been so wrapped up in work and my husband and kids' lives, I'm not really sure what my interests are, what brings me joy, or where I'm living life whole-heartedly. Now that they're both grown, it's time for me to re-evaluate my interests and priorities and start pursuing some of my own joy.
I appreciated his line, "Your boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." I like the sentiment that boundaries don't need to be drastic or complicated. One just needs to set a boundary that matters and will have a positive impact in your life, then stick to it. Setting boundaries that can actually be maintained, can be a great way to start. Then, you can add to or change the boundary when needed, but establishing a boundary is essential.
ReplyDeleteWork-life boundaries look different when being a stay at home Mom, as compared to working outside the home, but there is still a need for boundaries. With raising little children, the boundaries change as the children's needs change, but I am working on discerning some reasonable boundaries I can set that will help me have some time to recharge each day.
I feel I am living life most wholeheartedly when I've had a productive and joy-filled day with my children. When I am not bogged down or critical of myself in regards to what has been accomplished housework wise and am not on a tight time schedule. When I have moments in the day for some personal time, enjoy fun activities with the children (often including baking) and have moments to talk with other adults throughout the day, these are wonderful days.
The story that struck a chord with me the most I think was when he was talking about the business he had started and how its great success caused for him yet again a work-life imbalance. I can relate to his line "If I'm really being honest, what drove me more than anything was my ego", because I think the reason I often spend an inordinate amount of time on schoolwork to the detriment of my family life is that I feel that much of my self-worth is based on my performance as a teacher. I am generally viewed as an effective and well-respected teacher by my students and the community as a whole, but I think knowing this fuels a belief that I need to do more and work even harder to maintain this opinion.
ReplyDeleteI currently am working towards making a more conscious and concerted effort to establish better work-life boundaries and make family more of a priority. One thing I feel I must do in the upcoming school year is to do away with my current practice of spending time on schoolwork over the weekend so I am available to my wife and kids during that time. As I and my kids are getting older, I am realizing that while my identity as a teacher is important, my role as husband and father is just as important if not more so.
I think living life most whole-heartedly for me would be having a better balance between these roles. In other words, feeling like I am accomplishing my job effectively while still being able to enjoy time with family, hang out with friends, relax by playing music or reading a good book, and take care of my health through exercising. It is my hope that the ideas in this book will help me find that balance.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDeleteI liked the line " know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value". I know my values and what I want to focus on, my issue is with sticking to that value. I am getting better with focusing on those values as I age as it seems as if I am narrowing my focus on what really matters. My issue goes back to the ability to say no (which is better, but not ideal!). I have weeks where I do a phenomenal job of knowing my value and sticking to it, and then it seems as if I go on a little hiatus and loose track. We also own a family business which I feel dictates so much of how and why we do things. It is of the highest importance that we keep this as a focus point as it is our lively hood, but the business definitely defines our hows and whys. I need to be better about embodying this philosophy and putting it at the center of our lives.
My favorite quote from this Ted Talk was actually a Brene Brown quote: "If we want to live a Wholehearted life, we have to become intentional about cultivating sleep and play, and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol" (Brown, 2014). It might be time for me to circle back to some of my Brene Brown studies because I tend to go through cycles where I have to remind myself to establish work-life boundaries. In the past, I have been in districts where I always felt that I had to prove my worth, and I sacrificed much--including my family time and relationships--to feel valued and respected in my profession. A life explosion had to happen to get me back on track and balanced, and I still have regret that I missed out on time with my kids and husband that I won't get back.
ReplyDeleteCurrently, I feel that old habit creeping in where I feel the need to prove myself. The difference this time is that I know I don't have to prove anything. I am in a supportive district with an amazing principal, and I know my worth as a teacher. The work I need to put in is with my instruction and my students. Everything else can wait. I feel I am also getting better at leaving work at work and rarely bringing anything home from the classroom. This helps me to feel like I am living a life wholeheartedly because when I'm home, I can be present with my family and not distracted. It's a learning process.
The quote from the video- "Your boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." resonated with me. Everybodies boundaries might be different and that is okay. Some boundaries might be small or minor, but if they work and accomplish what you need, than that is all you need. I feel I have established pretty good work/life boundaries. At home I don't bring work home. If I do, I save it for after the kids are in bed. There have only been some times, like the beginning of the school year, when I am super overwhelmed and I might have the kids play while I am on my computer trying to accomplish some busy things. When this happens I hate it but in those moments I have to do it. These are rare occasions which is why I would say I do have good boundaries established. Feeling like I am fully there in my home life for my husband and kids and then also at school, feeling successful there and caught up, doing what I need- these things make me feel whole heartedly.
ReplyDeleteWhen he shared the story of his son saying "dad you're always in hotels" and noted that he felt crushed, that took me back to a moment in 2002 when I was working full time, and coaching track (track practice and meets took a TON of my time away from my husband and young son. My son who was 1 and a half simply saw me getting ready in the bathroom one day, and what he said broke my heart. "Mommy, no track." It was a day I was going to be home, I was just putting on a little makeup but to him he saw me getting ready to leave. I can empathize by saying I was crushed. That was the last time I ever coached anything. At the time I made it a priority when I had kids, I would not be involved in any coaching. My time with them was far too valuable. As far as work-life boundaries, I am pretty pleased with myself. I do not ever take work home from school. I've learned to manage my time efficiently to get lesson planning and grading done during the 8-4 school week timeframe. Regarding living life whole-heartedly, for me it involves time spent (doing almost anything) with my husband and 3 sons (ages 18, 21, and 23). Time with them is a gift as my older ones are not home nearly as often.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line is " Know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value." As our children were growing up, I realized how quickly time went and that they were growing up so fast! I didn’t want to miss out, so I set boundaries. I go to work early in the morning. The building is quiet. I get a lot of work done. I listen to Christian that prepares me mentally for the day. I leave shortly after the students are dismissed. Establishing work & life boundaries has allowed me to create a balance between my personal life and my professional life. I am living my best life whole-heartedly when I am playing with my grandkids! It is such a joy to laugh, explore, and create with them. I am completely present and fully engaged because I truly value the time we have together.
ReplyDeleteShare your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line was that "boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." After the book talked about finding your legacy, I wasn't sure I would be able to do such lofty things, so Mr. Hidalgo's line made it seem that setting boundaries was simple enough for me to handle.
Oh, the process of work-life boundaries has been a work in progress ever since I started teaching 21 years ago. At first, this was hard since I kept changing grade levels every year and had to start over each year. It was "ok" with me at the time, since I was unmarried and had no kids. Now, I have taught the same grade level for over half of my career and have a husband and kids. The new problem is having at least one "new" thing "thrown" at us each school year that takes extra time and energy to figure out. Last year, it was a new science curriculum and a new learning management system. I had been doing a lot better with my boundaries, but they were thrown to the wind with those two new things, plus a rough class, and a lot of extra paperwork and meetings. I plan for that to change this year as I was at the point of burnout and job searching for the first time last year.
Sadly, I really only feel like I am actually living life whole-heartedly in the summer and on longer school breaks. That is when I can focus on my family and my self-care. This is not enough. I need the weekends to rejuvenate and live whole-heartedly too, as I was able to do prior to last school year. I plan to make this happen by reestablishing firm boundaries.
“Your boundaries don’t need to be grand, they just need to be established.” I have tried to set work-life boundaries, but I am at the point where I need to be more deliberate and focused on maintaining those boundaries. When I am doing school work, I find my mind wandering on things that I need to do at home. If I can stick to those boundaries, I think I will be less stressed and more productive while focusing on the task at hand. I feel like I am living whole-heartedly when I am with my family. Making time for them is a challenge, as we all have busy lives. However, when we are able to get together, we are all able to enjoy our time together and I am able to focus solely on them.
ReplyDeleteMy children are grown and out of the house so my work/home boundaries are better than they were when I had kids at home. If I work later, I’m not missing out on time with my kids. The place I still need to set boundaries is with the time I spend watching TV vs spending time with my spouse. I like the areas that Hidalgo said were important: Time for relationships, mental and physical rejuvenation, cultivating joy and taking care of my health. These seem easier to do in the summer and harder to maintain during the school year. Since my kids are grown, I have a focus back with relationships with friends and more regularly have time to go out with them. I could stand to spend more time on my health.
ReplyDeleteI think that Hidalgo speaking to the "What drives the choices" was a good take away. There has to be a why behind the imbalance of work and life. He mentioned ego, although I am not sure that is it for a lot of teachers. I think that early in my career it was the duty of being a teacher. Also, the mentality of doing it for the kids.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I don't take a lot of work home and establish a time 3 days a week that I have to leave my room to go to a workout class. I very rarely skip that time to stay in my room and work. I have found that I am not that productive mentally after school and putting in that extra 15 or 20 minutes of work to miss physical exercise doesn't really pay off. It is harder to turn off the mental and emotional things from the day and really slow down to hear my own kids. I have to work on being present at home and not just running in the evening to get everything completed before I crash into bed.
Achieving a work-life balance is still a goal I have yet to achieve. As the speaker states, I keep "repeating the cycle I [have] vowed to break." He stresses that "you [I] will have to determine what is driving you [me] to tolerate a life of imbalance" and "it starts with a few conscious choices" and "I am far from the only one who is impacted by my choices. That resonates with me. If I had to pinpoint when I think I am actually living life whole-heartedly, it would be the days, weekends, or rare weeks where I leave work at work (no papers to grade, lesson plans are done, copies are made, etc.), but I'll admit this does not happen near enough. I have been an empty nester for three years now, and theoretically I thought it was get much easier to balance work-life, but until I make the conscious choices to make that happen, it won't. Unfortunately, I struggled with that balance when my kids were little. I was present physically, but my mind was often elsewhere (grading papers on a roadtrip, on my home computer doing work, etc.). As far as where am I in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? I know I don't keep my worlds separate yet, so that needs work. I am much better at this balance concept during the summer, but my choices need to carry through the remainder of the year. I am in the process of prioritizing my physical health and making meaningful time for relationships. As the speaker states, "your [my] boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." I really need to put more effort/energy into cultivating things that bring me joy.
ReplyDeleteShare your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDeleteAs the speaker states in the video, "I keep repeating the cycle I vowed to break." I feel this to my core. Entering year 7, I feel like I have a good grasp as to what my job entails, so now my goal is to actually find that work life balance that people strive for. I do not think it will happen fast, but will take time, and intentional efforts by me on a daily basis to get there. As stated previously, I am going into this school year valuing my time heavily. I have thought about deleting my email off my phone, contract time, etc. and will have to figure out what works best for me and my family when I am living it because the last thing I want to do by creating boundaries is to create more stress when the goal would be the opposite of that. To be honest, I feel like I am living my life whole-heartedly during the summer months. I do not feel obligated to return anyone's emails (including school personnel who are not respecting my time and the fact that I am not on contract). The way I feel during the summer is what I strive for during the school year.
I enjoyed the part near the end where he talked about what he and his wife are doing now with another company but how he explained that this was not their vision when they had young kids. I think that this is a great reminder of what you need or want now, will be different in 5, 10, or 15 years. My life right now revolves around being needed by elementary school kids during the day and 3 little ones when I come home. I feel like my work/life balance is decent. I am able to be productive at work with the help of goals and to-do list. What does come home with me though it the stress of decision making. I need to find a way to transition from school to home better. That way when I am home, my family has me and my whole mind.
ReplyDelete“I am doing this all for my family” justification, I feel like I have fallen into this trap. I have taught and coached for 24 years, just starting my 25th. Coaching I have justified by saying that I get to spend that much more time with my kids and I know how they are treated during that time. But… now I took on a coaching responsibility that does not involve even one of my four kids! I need to set more work- life boundaries, the two are easily mixed especially when my kids are involved in both areas. I don’t want to always be their coach or teacher, I like when I just get to be Mom too,
ReplyDeleteA line that stuck out to me was: "Your boundaries don't need to be grand, they just need to be established." I am at a point in my life where I need to do a much better job of setting boundaries and sticking with those. I have not done well lately and wish I would have read this book a few years ago! I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly but could have done things differently to include others in this journey!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate Carlos's quote of Brene Brown, "If we want to live a whole-hearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth."
ReplyDeleteEarly in our marriage, my husband heard a talk where a man said, "I went to work and when I came home my children were leaving for college." That quote hit a cord for both of us and we were able to make intentional choices so that this would never be true for us. For a few years, I worked part-time for little pay. It was challenging to maintain my self-worth as times, but I'm so thankful for the choices that we have made.
I feel that I am living whole-heartedly when I can be present where I am. I have used Angels's strategy of putting things on my list for a certain time so that I can enjoy each moment and not feel the weight of "what I should be doing instead."
The line "know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value" resonated with me as this is something that I have already tried to start doing over the last few years. I'm not always successful at doing this, but some of the biggest changes that I have made for the better in balancing the things that are important to me come from a very similar place. I feel like I have carved out a few non-negotiable times in my week to spend time with family and friends that have made a huge difference. For example, I know that family night every Tuesday will be a chance to eat, talk, and laugh with my family and is a great "whole-hearted" moment that we all look forward to every week.
ReplyDeleteI liked when he quoted Brene Brown, "If we want to live a wholehearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth." I have always found it difficult to maintain a good work-life balance. I tend to work late and am always trying to finish up "one last thing." I seldom ask for help and feel that if it's going to get done, I have to do it. I stay up late trying to get things checked off my to-do list and wind up being exhaused the next day which causes me to lose focus and energy.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm living whole-heartedly when I am able to spend quality time with my granddaughters, family, and friends.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDelete“What is driving you to tolerate a life of imbalance” really stuck out to me. I feel like pleasing people is what drives me to sometimes say yes to things and do work things when I should be spending time with my family and not working! I need to establish those boundaries of getting my work done in the allocated time and not letting the need to please others cut in to that time. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I do not have to worry or be anxious about getting my work done for school. I do have times throughout the year that are more stressful/busy than others but I will continue to try to get the balance figured out.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDeleteI really resonated with two of Carlos' lines. The idea that he was ascribing to what a working dad and husband should be, and "what is driving you to tolerate a life of imbalance". When we ascribe to other's ideals, we can justify those imbalances. For me, I justify some of my unhealthy work-life balance with the mentality that my students need me to do "xyz", or by saying yes to more things because it will make me better at my job or help cultivate connections. The truth is, this serves only to stretch me thin.
In my professional life, I have chosen to not take on additional duties if it doesn't serve me. I also had to come to the realization that my students aren't necessarily going to care if "xyz" isn't completed for the lesson. Most of the time it is a detail only I care about. I have worked on establishing boundaries for how much time I will spend outside of work on school duties and planning. Anything outside that allotted time is reserved for the things that cultivate my health and relationships. I feel like I am living whole-heartedly when I am able to spend time on my hobbies and build my relationship with my husband while also being able to accomplish the daily errands and tasks, but they are not all consuming.
ReplyDeleteI connected with the beginning of his talk about being a career woman. Working all day and still feeling the responsibility to keep everything running smoothly at home. My husband is very helpful, but I just feel a sense of responsibility to “do it all.” This is something I am working on and I also hired a house cleaner, which has been a game changer for me!
"Meaningful relationship and connection." Even though the school year can be hectic and sometimes the days are long, I've done a good job of making time for family and friends. My wife also has her summer off and it was a blessing for us to be able to see our sons play baseball, no matter the start time. Relationships is why I teach. I love my students and love my wife and kids.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete"If you want to live a wholehearted life we have to be intentional cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as worth." I grew up in a hard working family. I watched my dad put in 16-18 hour days. Many of the people I have in my adult life also follow the same schedule. It's good for me to hear that sleep and fun are important too. It's so easy to get into a rut. I'm getting better about setting work/life boundaries when it comes to school, but having trouble not taking on tasks that help others fulfill their work load. I feel best when I can concentrate on my schedule and not fill the gaps for others.
Share your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDelete"If you want to live a wholehearted life we have to be intentional cultivating sleep and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as worth."
"Meaningful relationship and connection."
So much of this talk jumped out to me because it is all so true. Since having my oldest son, I knew that I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. I realize just how fast the first 18 years of my life went, and I want to enjoy every possible moment of those with my own children. My work/life balance improved dramatically after having my first baby, and it then improved again after my second baby.
I coach basketball in the winter, so it is important for me to leave school as close to 4 P.M. as possible in the fall and spring to spend time with my kiddos. I used to take work home and then feel guilty for not completing it. Now, I try to be really intentional about using every spare moment at school to get things done. I told my husband that I did not want to bring work home, unless it was absolutely necessary. I am proud to say that I have only had to bring things home one time this year.
I also feel like the past two years (since having my son), I am a better teacher because I am intentional with my own time and my students' time.
This is something that I am still, of course, working on, but I do think there is a better balance than what I originally thought possible.
My favorite line in Carlos Hidalgo’s Ted Talk was his use of the quote by Brené Brown. If we want to live a Wholehearted life, we have to become intentional about cultivating sleep and play, and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth. This quote emphasizes the importance of prioritizing self-care, joy, and genuine connection over work pressure. By cultivating sleep and play, we allow ourselves to recharge and enjoy life, rather than constantly striving for productivity and perfection. Letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol encourages us to recognize that our worth isn’t tied to how busy or productive we are. Instead, it invites us to embrace a more balanced and fulfilling approach to life.
ReplyDeleteEven though I am closer to the end of my career than the beginning, this is the first time I have focused on establishing boundaries between work and life. I always tried to put my kids first but have missed events in the past due to work or missed out on family things because of school work or events. I really liked the boundaries that Carlos Hidalgo and his wife have established for their lives. I am planning on using them as guidelines for creating my own.
I think living life wholeheartedly often comes down to being fully present in the moment, embracing experiences, and connecting with others. It’s about finding joy in the little things, pursuing passions, and being open to new experiences. I am living life wholeheartedly when I am with my family. When I am with my friends. I know how to have a good time. Weekends are spent working on myself, working on my home, and having some fun. At school I embrace being a teacher, enjoying making a difference and helping students become their best selves.
My favorite story that resonates the most is the fact that he gave up his first job to spend more time with his family but then started a business and was even more busy than the first job he had. I chose that story because of the irony behind it and I think that's what a lot of Americans do who are in the working world. We are so driven for success that we will sacrifice our personal relationships and happiness trying to reach that.
ReplyDeleteI have significantly improved in establishing work-life boundaries. I gave up coaching two sports in the last year. I don't take work home with me. I spend much more time with my kids and have prioritized them over work. I try to remember to do things for myself as well.
I feel like I'm living life whole-heartedly by spending quality time with my kids and husband. Also by maintaining friendships and connections with my family and friends. Traveling and experiencing new things also makes me feel like I'm living whole-heartedly.
The line I can best relate to is "know what your value is, and what boundaries you need to create to protect that value." I have become very intentional in knowing my most important value as a teacher isn't the content I teach, but the relationships I am forming with students. I also know my most important human value is that as a mother, grandmother, and wife. After teaching 40 years, I have found that balance between school and home. I can be passionate as a teacher and still have the time for family and myself. I think it has taken decades of juggling it all to find a time in life that is purposeful and peaceful. I am living whole-heartedly, but when I am not I can retire whenever I want.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line was, "You will have to determine what is driving you to tolerate a life of unbalance." I found this saying to be very insightful. It resonated with me when he mentioned that he was tolerating imbalance to feed his ego. By understanding what is causing our own imbalance, we may realize whether it's truly worth it.
ReplyDeleteI believe I manage my work-life balance pretty well, but I do need to work on being more focused and motivated during my breaks, especially during lunch, to use that time more effectively. I feel most fulfilled when I'm spending time with my family doing activities we enjoy together, while also being free of distractions like my cellphone.
to know your value and know what boundaries need to be put in place to honor that. I try really hard and I feel like I do a good job at focusing on work at work and when I am home I'm home. My current mantra is to "be where your feet are".
ReplyDelete"Letting go of exhaustian as a trophy for self-worth". This was so good to hear. I grew up feeling guilty ever sitting down. If I can be honest, I would hear my husband coming down and if I had sat down, even to check things off my list, I'd jump up before he came in for fear that sitting down looked like I had too much time to relax. It's funny because my husband has never once ever given me a hard time of not working hard enough. In fact if anything he pushes me to arrange time to relax.
ReplyDeleteI am at a good place with work/life balance when it comes to teaching vs. homelife. I don't have it all figured out but I do not bring work home unless there are quizzes to grade. I do that after kids are in bed and husband and I are just watching tv. I can multi-task and it doesn't take time away from anyone else to do so. I still wouldn't say I feel balanced. Maybe just because being a working full time mother is just hard but one thing I'm gaining is realizing it doens't have to stay this way. I can ask for help and not do it all alone.
My favorite line from this talk was that, “Boundaries do not need to be grand. They just need to be established!” This is a powerful statement that helps us take steps towards our goal because it is hard to make a large change all at once. He mentions that the power of distractions creep into your life and before you know it you are painted in a corner or so to speak. He also discusses that it is important to identify the underlying reasons of what drives us to become unbalanced in our lives and may need o ask ourselves why we are so miserable. I agree with Hidalgo completely that we need to slow our lives down and dedicate times to our family and ourself to re-energize. I try to establish boundaries of no phone calls after 4 pm, and no work on Saturday. No work on Sunday, is difficult for me because I like to review my lesson plans for Monday on Sunday evening. When I can put my stuff away and disengage by unplugging from all the things associated with my job, I truly do feel freedom. It is an easy trap to fall into however regarding staying ahead of the game that I feel sometimes I work harder to make it easier which is sort of ironic and not very efficient.
ReplyDeleteMeaningful connections and purpose-driven are two phrases I latched onto right away. I always try to make connections in my life meaningful. If you are a part of my life, it is because I have purposely chosen you to be. Everything I do has a purpose. Some have a monetary purpose, some have a mental purpose, some have a heartfelt purpose, some have a mindless purpose, but everything has a specific purpose. As do the connections I have made with my family, friends, students, and co-workers. Some connections are deeper than others, but each connection serves a purpose. If I am looking for mindful connections, I know which friends I want to spend time with. If I am looking for heartfelt connections, I know what family and friends I want to spend time with. Depending on what I need, I reach out to those that can help to 'fill my cup.' Sometimes though I don't give myself what I truly need. I need to practice more self-care because I tend to spread myself a little too thin. That leads to mental and physical exhaustion: that's not what I need, ever.
ReplyDeleteI found it interesting that he talked about how women are typically just expected to do all the things still in this day and age. I often compare what my husband does vs my dad and it’s so different. But we still have a long ways to go. I have a very supportive and helpful husband who is a great partner at home, and still I feel like the majority of tasks at home fall on my shoulders. Even in the way we think when we both have a free weekend afternoon. I see a dirty kitchen and start cleaning and he might decide to watch football. I constantly have a running list in my head about what needs to be done and some men don’t think about those things.
ReplyDeleteI believe I have a good work home balance as I’ve gotten better about not bringing papers home to grade. I’d rather spend my recess and specials breaks to plan and grade than hang out and talk with coworkers. On the flip side- I need to work on making deeper connections with those coworkers.
His point of saying, "Your boundaries do not need to be grand, they just need to be established." I believe work-life boundaries are always being worked on in my life. Especially in the different stages of my 6 kids. It has to take a back burner a lot of the time I am caring for my kids. A boundary I have established with my spouse is to not talk school right before bed. I have to have those conversations sooner.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I am living life whole-heartedly when I am in the moment with the people I love and not distracted by other distractions. I also feel that I can live life whole-heartedly when I am connecting with students that need the connection. It really fills my cup to see home and work life succeed.
I really liked when he said “know what your value is and what boundaries you need to create in order to protect that value”.
ReplyDeleteI am constantly working on my work/life balance. This year I have made a point to leave work at work. I don’t bring papers home anymore or projects to work on. I have 3 young children and they deserve my undivided attention while we are all home. Sometimes I don’t get everything done at school that I wanted to, but I’m working on being ok with that. There will always be a to do list.
I had multiple favorite quotes/lines but I think this one stood out the most...
ReplyDeleteWhen he quoted, “If we want to live a whole-hearted life, we have to be intentional about cultivating sleep and play and about letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol in productivity as self worth.”
I am so guilty of saying no to "play" and proper rest because I am too tired, or too exhausted by my work choices. I have lost numerous days of PTO due to not wanting to miss out on the job, or being afraid that it would look bad if I took the time off. But ultimately I need to understand that balance is what is important and healthy, and that is what is going to keep me going in this profession for years to come. I have to be more intentional about the things that are important to me, like meal planning so we can sit down at the table and eat together every night, or setting up a babysitter for date night because without honest intentions the things that are most important to me have been getting over looked.
I also need to let go of the stigma that if you stay late, and come early that means you are a better teacher. I can better use my time during that day so that I can work within contract hours so that the other time can be used for the people that I love and the things we love doing together.
My favorite story from the talk was when his son called him and said he was always in hotels and how it affected his family. I am still working on establishing my work-life balance. Parents and administrators always have access to me and I typically respond quickly and it puts me into work mode despite being at home or with family. I feel like I am living life whole-heartedly right now, during Christmas break, because I have not received emails or calls that put me into work mode and I am allowed to do things I find joy in.
ReplyDeleteShare your favorite line or story shared by Carlos Hidalgo in his talk, Setting Work-Life Boundaries. Where are you at in the process of establishing work-life boundaries? When do you feel like you are actually living life whole-heartedly?
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is that Boundaries don't need to be grand. They just need to be established." I feel this because quite often I bite off more than I can chew. If I just pick one thing--two tops and stick to it, perhaps I can relax and enjoy my life more. I made a boundary at the beginning of the year that at 4 p.m. on school days I would start organizing myself for the next day and tidy up and be out my classroom door at 4:15. I am a work in progress. Overall, I am leaving earlier than last year, but there is still room for improvement. I want to start being deliberate during my time. Focus solely on the designated task at the designated time. I feel like I am living whole-heartedly when I am with those I love and connecting with them. I have a hard time taking breaks when I become determined to finish something by a certain time, even if it is a self-imposed deadline and I feel myself waning.
I enjoyed hearing about how his son had asked if he was on an airplane and his response was "No, I'm in a hotel." The kid responds and says "You're always in a hotel" and hangs up the phone. That hits home. I don't ever want to be a parent that isn't around for their children. I want to be there every step of the way, watching all of their firsts and successes/achievements. I want to to be at every ball game, dance recital, music concert, etc. I feel like I'm living life whole-heartedly when I have the perfect combination of work/home life. I enjoy being at school and teaching these bright young 3rd graders, but I also enjoy spending time with my family at night.
ReplyDeleteLess a line from the video, but more a thought that continued to pop up as I watched: 'Your job listing will be posted before your obituary.' I learned very fast that I would not handle work email on my phone (1 bad parent in my second year of teaching brought a quick end to that). But more and more, it is my policy that you can send an email and I will get to it on the next business day. I am often frowned upon when I have not responded to an email immediately or didn't see an improptu dress up day that was send over the weekend. But this is something that I must stick to and I feel strongly about. If we are to change the expectation, it must at least begin as an all or nothing, or else where do the 'exceptions' end? I feel best about this decision when I remember that I also have a job of raising my own children-- to which I am very committed.
ReplyDeleteI connected with his comment at the beginning of the career woman--who works all day, comes home and does all the housework, prepares the meals and finishes the dishes. I finally had to ask for help from my husband and children because I was finding myself to not be a very happy person. I try to leave at 4pm from my teaching job and leave the work at school, so that I can be focused on my family during the evening.
ReplyDeleteI liked the part about being a career woman and coming home to do the home "chores". My husband and I have learned how to balance home chores and we have a good system where things get done and we both do the ones we enjoy the most!
ReplyDeleteI have taught for 22 years and at different stages of my life I have balanced work/home life differently. I started teaching before I had children so I spent more hours at school than I did at home. When our children were small I brought school work home to do when they went to sleep. Now our children our teenagers and I think I have finally found a better balance. I love making lists and have two lists on my desk. One list is for all the "big" things that need to get done but not necessarily right away. The other sticky note is for things that I need to accomplish that day. Before I leave for the night, I always check to make sure I have accomplished what needs to be done for that day. When I find that I have extra time, I accomplish something off the "big" list. I have learned that prioritizing what has to be done "today" compared to "someday" helps me stay focused and sets a boundary for me so that when I go home, I can be present at home.